Dear President Lincoln...okay, okay, let me explain the second favorite business. I've always told you that you are my favorite president, and I love what you did with the slavery issue and all, plus the fact that you were a Republican. I think you were a great president.
I'm really sorry about that John Wilks Booth thing; I never liked that prissy little faggot, piss poor actor if you ask me. He gave the South a bad name.
But we have a new guy now and he's having to deal with the damned Democrats just like you did. I don't think it's going to end up in a war this time, tho. Democrats these days are not like the ones you had to deal with, way too chickenshit to start a war. They're against guns, can you believe that? What if Robert E. Lee and his gang of ruffians hadn't believed in everyone owning guns? The war would have ended at Manassas...oh, excuse me, Mister President, I meant to say Bull Run. Anyway. This new guy is Donald Trump and he's kicking ass and taking names.
He's my favorite president now but I still like you second best.
Your life-long friend and admirer,
Jack Dallas
I'm really sorry about that John Wilks Booth thing; I never liked that prissy little faggot, piss poor actor if you ask me. He gave the South a bad name.
But we have a new guy now and he's having to deal with the damned Democrats just like you did. I don't think it's going to end up in a war this time, tho. Democrats these days are not like the ones you had to deal with, way too chickenshit to start a war. They're against guns, can you believe that? What if Robert E. Lee and his gang of ruffians hadn't believed in everyone owning guns? The war would have ended at Manassas...oh, excuse me, Mister President, I meant to say Bull Run. Anyway. This new guy is Donald Trump and he's kicking ass and taking names.
He's my favorite president now but I still like you second best.
Your life-long friend and admirer,
Jack Dallas
