Ode to my Son

[RedCloud]

Well, as you might recall my son and I came to a parting of the way sometime back. He is in his forties and has really screwed-up his life and I made the mistake of stepping in and doing what a father needed to do -- try to get him back on track. It didn't work. He bolted, left the house, and informed me he never wanted to see his mother or me again. That was last summer and he hasn't come around and has moved without leaving an address or new telephone number so I have to believe he intends it to be this way. I am sorry for him. I love him. So, your verse struck a note with me. Anyway, it's a great piece of work. Gramps

Gramps, I was not aware of your estrangement from your son, but can well imagine the heartbreak it has caused you and Mrs. Gramps. We can't live our kids lives for them, we can only point the way and hope they don't stray from the correct path.

The reason I felt honored by your comment of approval was that having read some of your posts, I felt that you were a man of wisdom and honor.

May the Force be with you,

RC

 

[lilly]

Fair, I think you have it pegged right. Adults are adults and teens are teens and never the twain shall meet. Sometimes the end of an argument with offspring should be, "Because I said so!"

So true, you are a very wise man.

 

[lilly]

Gramps, I was not aware of your estrangement from your son, but can well imagine the heartbreak it has caused you and Mrs. Gramps. We can't live our kids lives for them, we can only point the way and hope they don't stray from the correct path.

The reason I felt honored by your comment of approval was that having read some of your posts, I felt that you were a man of wisdom and honor.

May the Force be with you,

RC

It breaks my heart to hear this Gramps, you both are men of wisdom and honor. As parents what ever we do to lead our children in the right direction is out of love and although they don't understand that immediately, they will once they have children and know the job was not an easy one.

 

[RedCloud]

OH, Redcloud!! Those were wonderful! So very touching.

You made me cry. And for that you must be punished.

Thanks, gigi. I wrote a poem for Fairsheet which I will post later.

As punishment, would ten Hail Marys be sufficient?

 

[RedCloud]

So true, you are a very wise man.

Thanks, lilly. Many times I have been referred to as a "Wise---" I'm glad you filled in those dashes with "m-a-n!"

 

[gigi]

I don't have a son, but I expect most fathers have similar feelings for their children. I like your poem.
Here is one I wrote for my daughter when she was about 25 year old (she is now 41)

"A POEM FOR DAUGHTER"


Like mystic visions were your eyes,
that laughed and danced
and hypnotized
And your face, like morning's
breaking light
blessed my life and set it right

A father's wonder, pure delight
You were the sun and the moon
and the stars at night

I can't describe the likes of thee
with adjective or simile
Nor tell your worth one whit the more
with poor inadequate metaphor

But to hold you close when day was done
made heart and mind become as one
And just to gaze upon your soul
took parts of me and made them whole

I often wander back in time
and remember you
with verse and rhyme
You're grown up now
though I pretend
but I love you still
as I did then

Jack Dallas 1995

Jack, that is so beautifully written!! I think you've captured exactly what our kids do to us inside.


Have you guys shown these poems to your kids and grandkids?

 

[RedCloud]

Jack, that is so beautifully written!! I think you've captured exactly what our kids do to us inside.


Have you guys shown these poems to your kids and grandkids?

Gigi, you are right, Jack's poem is beautifully written and puts into writing feelings which are hard to express.

I gave copies of my poems to my son, grandson, granddaughter and daughter-in-law. I also dedicated a poem to our very own, MaryAnne and one to Fairsheet. I'll post both later. Gigi, I think you, especially, will like the one to Fairsheet.

Don't have time to post now, got to go see my Granddaughter play ball. She is on a travel team and I try to see all her games

 

[JackDallas]

Thank you Gigi, I appreciate it. I've written 7 or 8 poems for my granddaughters as well. Here is the link to one of them. My first grandgirl was about 2 years old in this picture. She is now 18.
http://adventures-in-time.blogspot.com/2007/12/yellow-hat.html

 

[Addy]

R-Cloud...what hits me most about your "testimony", is that you hint at being the "man" to your son's "boy". If I were to go off on a riff as to what's "wrong today", it's that the feeling seems to be that parents should bring themselves down to their children's level - be their friends, their equals - larger/older versions of themselves.

My father died young - when I was young. But...I only remember him as a man - not a bigger-boy version of myself - but a man, on an entirely different plane and planet from me. $#@!...all of my friends Dads were men - to we boys. In my perhaps sappy opinion, we need more of that. And, the same should apply to mothers who seem so desperate these days, to be big sisters to their daughters.

Fair.. exactly.. most kids will always have lots friends -- but they will only have one Mom and Dad. ..so kids don't need their parents to be their friends or buddies. Parents should love them, be an authority figure and set the rules, help guide them, etc...
I agree with your comments 100%.
Interestingly too.. teachers seemed to have adopted this type buddy, pal, relationship with students to a certain extent.. It wasn't that way when I went to school..
We always knew our places as to who was in charge.. at home and at school.

 

[Addy]

Thanks, RC, for sharing your wonderful poem..

 

[lilly]

I don't have a son, but I expect most fathers have similar feelings for their children. I like your poem.
Here is one I wrote for my daughter when she was about 25 year old (she is now 41)

"A POEM FOR DAUGHTER"


Like mystic visions were your eyes,
that laughed and danced
and hypnotized
And your face, like morning's
breaking light
blessed my life and set it right

A father's wonder, pure delight
You were the sun and the moon
and the stars at night

I can't describe the likes of thee
with adjective or simile
Nor tell your worth one whit the more
with poor inadequate metaphor

But to hold you close when day was done
made heart and mind become as one
And just to gaze upon your soul
took parts of me and made them whole

I often wander back in time
and remember you
with verse and rhyme
You're grown up now
though I pretend
but I love you still
as I did then

Jack Dallas 1995

It is truly from that soft spot in your heart. It must give you a great feeling of satisfaction to be able to put your words down on paper in this way.

I just love this one.


Yellow Hat


There’s a picture from the past
that in my mind will always last
My darling one so sweetly sat
and blessed the world
In her yellow hat

‘Neith the shading Sycamore,
locked in time forevermore,
she sat and dreamt of this and that
in her sundress and her yellow hat

Dreaming dreams of this and that,
a vision in her yellow hat,
as sweetly on the grass she sat,
as sweetly on the grass she sat,
clothed in love and her yellow hat

She was a darling and I'm sure all grown up every bit as sweet.

 

[JackDallas]

She is a sweety, now 18 and we are still very close. She is my favorite but I don't tell the others that. Here is a picture of her on my shoulders when she was about two years old.

 

[middleview]

My best dad moment.....

My son had been tormented by three kids all year in 8th grade. He had told two different teachers about it and nothing happened. I noticed his bad mood and asked "what is wrong". After being prompted several times he finally told me that these kids were pushing him around (and others). I told him that if all else failed and he had tried to tell the teachers of the problem then it might just be up to him to solve the problem. He might just have to stand up to them. The very next day he did. He clobbered one of these kids, I'm sure in a massive fit of temper, he pushed the kid up against the wall and wailed away on his ribs. I got a call from the principal. The boy was crying and said he thought he had broken ribs....so an ambulance had been called and he was headed for the E/R....so his parents would get a $1,000 bill for the ride all because their kid was a bully and didn't want to face his pals after taking a beating from a smaller kid. My son was to be suspended. After a conversation with the principal we agreed that my son wasn't feeling well and should take the rest of that day and the next off....not a suspension. I was to pick him up from school. Then he called my son into his office and put him on the phone. I asked if he was ok. He was too choked up to speak. I told him I'd be coming to get him and that he was absolutely not in trouble with me.....he said "am I grounded"......I said "You're my hero. You stood up to a bully for everyone there who they'd pushed around. It was the right thing to do. No, you aren't grounded".

My very favorite moment as his dad.

 

[lilly]

My best dad moment.....

My son had been tormented by three kids all year in 8th grade. He had told two different teachers about it and nothing happened. I noticed his bad mood and asked "what is wrong". After being prompted several times he finally told me that these kids were pushing him around (and others). I told him that if all else failed and he had tried to tell the teachers of the problem then it might just be up to him to solve the problem. He might just have to stand up to them. The very next day he did. He clobbered one of these kids, I'm sure in a massive fit of temper, he pushed the kid up against the wall and wailed away on his ribs. I got a call from the principal. The boy was crying and said he thought he had broken ribs....so an ambulance had been called and he was headed for the E/R....so his parents would get a $1,000 bill for the ride all because their kid was a bully and didn't want to face his pals after taking a beating from a smaller kid. My son was to be suspended. After a conversation with the principal we agreed that my son wasn't feeling well and should take the rest of that day and the next off....not a suspension. I was to pick him up from school. Then he called my son into his office and put him on the phone. I asked if he was ok. He was too choked up to speak. I told him I'd be coming to get him and that he was absolutely not in trouble with me.....he said "am I grounded"......I said "You're my hero. You stood up to a bully for everyone there who they'd pushed around. It was the right thing to do. No, you aren't grounded".

My very favorite moment as his dad.

middleview, you should be proud but he also should be proud of you as his father. You said three boys made his life miserable and that so often is the case, they are cowards and come in groups and that is what is frightening to a single child.

Many schools are now teaching them to stand up for themselves and it seems to be working, they roll play and tell them to scream loudly at those that are doing the bullying so that others hear. In class the students not involved are told to get involved and use their voice to tell them to stop.

I just can't understand what kids are thinking today, at a time they should be showing maturity they are acting out in ways we certainly would never have thought of when we went to school.

I hope your son is doing better today, I have a feeling he taught them a thing or two that day. It's not that we want to teach violence but if one has been threatened this much and is brave enough to take on three, I doubt there will be anyone bothering him again.

Jack she looks like you there!

 

[middleview]

Thank you, Lilly. The end result was that the other boy was suspended for 3 days. My son got 1 1/2 days off....no suspension (since the principal agreed that he had informed teachers of the problem....both teachers got reprimands).

His first day back one of the other boys (not the boy who had been suspended) confronted my son. He said he was going to make him sorry he hit the other kid. My son said "I only got a day and half off last time....want to go for three?" The other boy backed down and for the rest of the year if my son intervened when these kids were hassling other kids they'd stop. I heard from another teacher that all of a sudden my son was the "white knight"....none of the three bullies really wanted to fight and it was clear that my son didn't mind at all.

He is graduating from college in May. He is my best friend and I hope I am his.....

 

[lilly]

Thank you, Lilly. The end result was that the other boy was suspended for 3 days. My son got 1 1/2 days off....no suspension (since the principal agreed that he had informed teachers of the problem....both teachers got reprimands).

His first day back one of the other boys (not the boy who had been suspended) confronted my son. He said he was going to make him sorry he hit the other kid. My son said "I only got a day and half off last time....want to go for three?" The other boy backed down and for the rest of the year if my son intervened when these kids were hassling other kids they'd stop. I heard from another teacher that all of a sudden my son was the "white knight"....none of the three bullies really wanted to fight and it was clear that my son didn't mind at all.

He is graduating from college in May. He is my best friend and I hope I am his.....

It thrills me no end when this sort of thing works out well since it also it benefits the bully when they are taught right from wrong.

Congratulations to be the father of a college graduate (smile) broke as you may be. LOL ......I'm sure he is your best friend and will always remember everything you did for him. My son told me the other night about something I hadn't thought about in years that I did for him, it's so nice that they remember after many years....it comes out at the strangest times once in awhile.

 

[middleview]

Not at all. I wouldn't trade a minute.

 

[JackDallas]

I had almost the exact same story with my 12 year old grandson. His pussy dad (my former soninlaw) and the schools keep telling him to report any bullying he is subjected to. He did so on several occasions and it did no good. I have told him since he was in first grade to knock the bullies on their asses. I even set up a punching bag anf taught him how to throw a punch. He kept saying, "I'll get in trouble, Grandpa." "I don't care, I told hi; if you don't stick up for yourself you'l be bullied all your life."

Finally he hit a kid. He got a write-up for it but didn't get suspended. I framed the write up, put on the wall above my desk, and took him out to dinner. Then another kid kept pushing him around. Again I told him to hit the bastard and he did, with a little more aggresion this time. Both boys got a three-day suspension. My grandson got the "I'm really disappointed in you" routine from his pussy dad, and is now scheduled for a steak dinner from me.

 

[JackDallas]

PS: The boy lives with me, along with his mother and stepdad, sisters and little brother. His stepdad gives him the same advice I do. Take up for yourself.
Liberals have f***ed up the schools, and our society, with their politicaally correct BS.

 

[middleview]

PS: The boy lives with me, along with his mother and stepdad, sisters and little brother. His stepdad gives him the same advice I do. Take up for yourself.
Liberals have f***ed up the schools, and our society, with their politicaally correct BS.

Limbaugh is a liberal? Wow. I'd have never guessed.