Stay at home Moms

[lupehernandezdepedajack]

My kids were raised in a rather low income environment but they had a mom that was at home when they got on the bus and at home when they got off the bus. Mom was there to pick them up when they had to stay late at school and to take them to the dentist and doctor. Ye s we have struggled and the kids went without some luxuries but they did not spend one day at daycare. By and large they have thrived in an area plagued with poor achievement in school and a high dropout rate.

The question I have is are kids handicapped or advantaged with a stay at home mom?

My personal feelings are that it is an advantage.

But it probably depends on who's yo momma

 

[Renee]

My kizds were raised in a rather low income environment but they had a mom that was at home when they got on the bus and at home when they got off the bus. Mom was there to pick them up when they had to stay late at school and to take them to the dentist and doctor. Ye s we have struggled and the kids went without some luxuries but they did not spend one day at daycare. By and large they have thrived in an area plagued with poor achievement in school and a high dropout rate.

The question I have is are kids handicapped or advantaged with a stay at home mom?

My personal feelings are that it is an advantage.

But it probably depends on who's yo momma

That is a loaded question. Some kids do fine in daycare...they also do fine in kindergarten. (Or did your wife homeschool?) Having a mother at home doesn't make a child thrive. An interesting study my daughter was part of, concluded that's girls with working moms had higher aspirations. I do note that you don't mention dads staying at home, I think dads are just as good as moms with their kids, some better, some worse. When we can liberate men so they are freer to stay at home, we will be better as a society
So the answer depends on the individual child. If mom staying home deprives kids of things they want because they can't afford them, then it might not be the best.

 

[ElGringo]

The question I have is are kids handicapped or advantaged with a stay at home mom?

I think overall it's probably an advantage but not many families can afford to have momma stay home and even if they can not many women seem to want to. Kids need structure and parental involvement in their lives and as long as they get that everything will probably work out alright.

 

[Renee]

I think overall it's probably an advantage but not many families can afford to have momma stay home and even if they can not many women seem to want to. Kids need structure and parental involvement in their lives and as long as they get that everything will probably work out alright.

Isn't it interesting that dads who might see their kids a couple of hours a day seem to give their kid structure and involvement. Why can't the working moms have the same impact. My mom was a stay at home mother, and my dad worked and I saw him for a couple of hours. The impact he made on my life was incredible. It is about quality not quantity

 

[Jen]

My kizds were raised in a rather low income environment but they had a mom that was at home when they got on the bus and at home when they got off the bus. Mom was there to pick them up when they had to stay late at school and to take them to the dentist and doctor. Ye s we have struggled and the kids went without some luxuries but they did not spend one day at daycare. By and large they have thrived in an area plagued with poor achievement in school and a high dropout rate.

The question I have is are kids handicapped or advantaged with a stay at home mom?

My personal feelings are that it is an advantage.

But it probably depends on who's yo momma

My kids had a stay at home mom too. I got an education, taught school for a few years, then had my children and was at home with them until they started school. Then, when I discovered that their public school (which boasted greatness) wasn't doing the job right, I put them in a private school and taught at that same school. Later, when our private school closed, I home schooled the 3 youngest until they graduated from high school [starting with 5th grade for the youngest and 8th grade for the twins].

As a result, my kids know who they are, have personal standards that they set for themselves as to what is acceptable and what is not. They all graduated from college with honors. One is in management with Starbucks Corp, one is an Airborne Lieutenant with the US Army, one is a Chemist with a local company, and the other is teaching Freshman Comp at University of Oklahoma and getting her master's degree to go on to her doctorate.

We struggled. We did without. We put our family and children first. And our results are not there by accident. It was our choice. And I have no regrets and neither does my husband.

 

[Jen]

Isn't it interesting that dads who might see their kids a couple of hours a day seem to give their kid structure and involvement. Why can't the working moms have the same impact. My mom was a stay at home mother, and my dad worked and I saw him for a couple of hours. The impact he made on my life was incredible. It is about quality not quantity

Depends a lot on exactly who you get to fill in that "quantity". That person has profound impact on the child too.

 

[Renee]

Depends a lot on exactly who you get to fill in that "quantity". That person has profound impact on the child too.

Parents take credit when their kids turn out great, and yours certainly sound great....but they blame others when they don't...and it is usually the mother. I think it is the responsibility of the mother and father to make sure that their kids are well taken care of when they are not with them. I think this country fails short on affordable daycare as well.

 

[Renee]

I think overall it's probably an advantage but not many families can afford to have momma stay home and even if they can not many women seem to want to. Kids need structure and parental involvement in their lives and as long as they get that everything will probably work out alright.

Where are fathers? Women now have more opportunities and can be the breadwinner, are dads ready to assume that role? Men can be just as caring and nurturing as women.

 

[Jen]

Parents take credit when their kids turn out great, and yours certainly sound great....but they blame others when they don't...and it is usually the mother. I think it is the responsibility of the mother and father to make sure that their kids are well taken care of when they are not with them. I think this country fails short on affordable daycare as well.

I agree that our country falls short on affordable daycare, but if it's cheap enough that a single mom on minimum wage can afford it, just think what those daycare workers are going to be paid.

Not all moms can stay at home. Not all moms should stay at home. We have friends who had the dad stay home. Dad was an engineer, mom was a CPA but her job paid more so he stayed home with the kids until they started school and it worked out well.

I understand that sometimes both parents have to work. And other times there is only one parent to do it all. But raising children shouldn't be haphazard and we need more answers than are available now.

 

[Jen]

Where are fathers? Women now have more opportunities and can be the breadwinner, are dads ready to assume that role? Men can be just as caring and nurturing as women.

I answered another of your posts that gives an answer to this.

 

[Jen]

I agree that our country falls short on affordable daycare, but if it's cheap enough that a single mom on minimum wage can afford it, just think what those daycare workers are going to be paid.

Not all moms can stay at home. Not all moms should stay at home. We have friends who had the dad stay home. Dad was an engineer, mom was a CPA but her job paid more so he stayed home with the kids until they started school and it worked out well.

I understand that sometimes both parents have to work. And other times there is only one parent to do it all. But raising children shouldn't be haphazard and we need more answers than are available now.

I don't take credit for anything but providing solidarity and stability. All the good traits my kids have come from their dad. I've told them that [did so with one of them just yesterday on the phone].

 

[ElGringo]

Where are fathers? Women now have more opportunities and can be the breadwinner, are dads ready to assume that role? Men can be just as caring and nurturing as women.

Could you clarify for me exactly what role you're talking about?

 

[Renee]

I don't take credit for anything but providing solidarity and stability. All the good traits my kids have come from their dad. I've told them that [did so with one of them just yesterday on the phone].

What is wrong with your traits?

 

[Renee]

Could you clarify for me exactly what role you're talking about?

SAHD

 

[Corruptbuddha]

My kizds were raised in a rather low income environment but they had a mom that was at home when they got on the bus and at home when they got off the bus. Mom was there to pick them up when they had to stay late at school and to take them to the dentist and doctor. Ye s we have struggled and the kids went without some luxuries but they did not spend one day at daycare. By and large they have thrived in an area plagued with poor achievement in school and a high dropout rate.

The question I have is are kids handicapped or advantaged with a stay at home mom?

My personal feelings are that it is an advantage.

But it probably depends on who's yo momma

My wife stayed home with both my kids. They are both productive, educated adults now, So i would say its an advantage.

 

[Jen]

What is wrong with your traits?

Nothing at all, I don't think. But I don't sit and analyze my wonderfulness very often. I'm a good mom and good role model as a person and parent and woman. But I consider that to be what I am .........rather than something someone needs to talk about. I married well so my husband is all of those things too. Well, he's a dad, not a mom.........but.......

 

[Jen]

My wife stayed home with both my kids. They are both productive, educated adults now, So i would say its an advantage.

It's a great advantage when it can happen and I think that rather than plan for some alternative, young people should plan for children to be raised by a trusted family member whenever possible.

 

[Renee]

Nothing at all, I don't think. But I don't sit and analyze my wonderfulness very often. I'm a good mom and good role model as a person and parent and woman. But I consider that to be what I am rather than something someone needs to talk about. I married well so my husband is all of those things too. Well, he's a dad, not a mom.........but.......

I think it is too bad that you attribute your children's good qualities to your husband....why diminish yourself? You sound like a wonderful,woman.

 

[Renee]

It's a great advantage when it can happen and I think that rather than plan for some alternative, young people should plan for children to be raised by a trusted family member whenever possible.

I truly think I was a better mom when I went back to work.

 

[Jen]

I think it is too bad that you attribute your children's good qualities to your husband....why diminish yourself? You sound like a wonderful,woman.

If you saw the great way I'm treated around here, you would know I don't need to worry about whether or not I'm a good person. I must be to have my nice family. My kids have never sassed me. Not ever (their dad wouldn't have tolerated it and neither would I, but a stern look stopped anything that went in that direction). I speak to them with respect. Always have. My husband never belittles me or says discouraging things to me or complains about anything I do. So, I know I'm a good person and deserve that good treatment. I just don't worry about it...........I'd rather look at how great my family is and leave it at that.