New Posts
  • Hi there guest! Welcome to PoliticalJack.com. Register for free to join our community?

In the interests of fairness...

freyasman

Senator
I've made many of my gripes, bitches, and complainants about today's Army known, now let's hear from a commander. It's only fair to give them a chance to air their grievances.

The following is a transcript of outgoing company commander Capt. Vince Miller’s change of command speech:
Good morning everyone. I’d normally begin with our unit motto, but after two and a half years of starting every meeting and discussion with it, I just don’t think I can stomach it anymore. So I’ll say good morning like a normal human being.
I should probably thank my battalion commander for the opportunity to command this company over the last few years, in both combat and garrison, but I think I’d rather go out into the parking lot and key his car for saddling me with the greatest collection of idiots, malingerers, and criminals that have ever walked the face of this earth.
You’ll notice my wife and daughters aren’t here sitting in the audience today. That’s because Sheila left me six months ago when I had to skip our 10th anniversary trip to Jamaica so I could come in on a Sunday for unit PT, since one of you dipshits decided to go out and get his third DUI.
I wasn’t allowed to go to marriage counseling last year when our relationship was on the rocks because the commander had said that soldiers were the priority. So instead I gave my slot to Private Steadman and his former prostitute wife who he met on R&R in Brazil the month prior. Once they got back, she took all his money and Steadman killed himself. So thanks for that.
Do any of you morons have any clue how much paperwork it causes when you blow your sad little heads off? At least have the courtesy to go AWOL first. But for [Unwelcome language removed]’s sake don’t come back for at least 30 days so I can drop you off my books and let someone else deal with the meatsack of failure that is your existence.
This would now be the part of the speech where I talk about our glorious combat achievements. Too bad, there’s nothing glorious about walking around Afghanistan for 12 months finding IEDs with your feet. Now I’m deaf in one ear, have almost a pound of shrapnel in my ass, and occasionally I wake up screaming for no [Unwelcome language removed] reason. But you know what? That doesn’t make me a goddamned hero. That was the worst part about coming back. Not my empty home, empty bed, or shattered dreams. No, it was listening to you fuckwads thump your chests and talk about how badass you all were. Did any one of you actually get a confirmed kill over there? One?
I didn’t think so.
So in closing, let me say this. Thank you for the countless weekends I lost with my daughters because I had to deal with your trivial bullshit. Thank you for the two suicide investigations that forced me to cancel training events I’d planned for almost a year. And most importantly, thank you for the dishonesty, poor accountability, and outright theft of almost two million dollars in equipment, which is why I won’t be receiving another paycheck until February.
May God smite you all with the power of a thousand suns, and your souls be condemned to Hell for eternity.
And to the incoming commander. Good luck and God bless you for making such terrible life choices.
There’s a bottle of scotch in the third drawer of my desk. You’re going to need it.
I hate you all.



Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/11/outgoing-company-commander-hate/#ixzz3X7ok17Fy
 

Caroljo

Senator
I'm about 99% sure it's just a satire, but anyone who has ever commanded troops can relate. ;)
I'm sure they can. I know my son struggles with a lot of the stupidity that goes on. That's one of the reason he got into Psy Ops, most that are in a SF type of job are with others that WANT to be there and are more dependable. The only other time he's felt "safe" on a deployment was when he was with the 101st Airborne. I can imagine there are some (many?) like this guy in your video. But what got me was, sure...I can see why he was pissed about a lot of those things that happened....but he also volunteered to be there. And why didn't he get out long ago if it was that bad? Like you said, it was most likely satire, but still...
 

fairsheet

Senator
Given that a man or woman has the freedom to quit and move on to something that he/she feels better about, at any point in his/her life-career, this sort of satire is pathetic.
 

freyasman

Senator
Given that a man or woman has the freedom to quit and move on to something that he/she feels better about, at any point in his/her life-career, this sort of satire is pathetic.
Well, actually they aren't free to quit and move on.... once you're in, it can be several years before you can get out and move on with your life, depending on the terms of your contract. You can't just give your 2-weeks notice...
 

fairsheet

Senator
Well, actually they aren't free to quit and move on.... once you're in, it can be several years before you can get out and move on with your life, depending on the terms of your contract. You can't just give your 2-weeks notice...
"Several years" should be sufficient in the case of one who's as miserable as this satire suggests.
 

Caroljo

Senator
Well, a year seems a lot longer when you're young, you know?
Isn't the most they re-enlist for each time 4 yrs? Seems he would have had chances to move on. But then, I know also that sometimes it's just not the smart thing to do if you have over 10 yrs already in. My son said when he was home recently that he really would like to get out, he's ready to lead a 'normal' life (and he wants to get into DNR). But, he has only 8 yrs left to retire. So he's going to stick it out, and hope the last few years is sitting at a nice desk putting in 8 yrs a day :).
 

freyasman

Senator
Isn't the most they re-enlist for each time 4 yrs? Seems he would have had chances to move on. But then, I know also that sometimes it's just not the smart thing to do if you have over 10 yrs already in. My son said when he was home recently that he really would like to get out, he's ready to lead a 'normal' life (and he wants to get into DNR). But, he has only 8 yrs left to retire. So he's going to stick it out, and hope the last few years is sitting at a nice desk putting in 8 yrs a day :).
Yeah, I had something similar..... really bad move on my part, but I wasn't in Psy-Ops, so he'll be ok.
 

Wahbooz

Governor
I'm about 99% sure it's just a satire, but anyone who has ever commanded troops can relate. ;)
I was definitely sure it was satire. If it wasn't he needed a bit of humor in his life, like Dave Rabbit. Some may find the dialog offensive, so a warning.


 
Last edited:
Top