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In case I die tomorrow

Max R.

On the road
Supporting Member
A work friend is dying of Stage IV lung cancer** and there is a crowdfunding website established by closer friends to help fund his treatment. I discussed this with my wife since I have mixed feelings about donating money to the website.

A few years ago another work friend also had lung cancer which also caught in the late stages. Rather than spend his family's entire saving fighting the inevitable, he refused treatment (except for pain-management) and was gone in six months.

In both cases they are/were long-time pack-a-day+ smokers. In both cases they never went to the doctor unless they were "really sick", meaning no annual checkups.

Should people give to support others who made extremely unhealthy lifestyle choices and are now paying the consequences? I don't know if the friend in question here put up the crowdfunding website. It was probably his family and/or friends.


**The five-year survival rate for those diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer is less than 10 percent.
 

Days

Commentator
A work friend is dying of Stage IV lung cancer** and there is a crowdfunding website established by closer friends to help fund his treatment. I discussed this with my wife since I have mixed feelings about donating money to the website.

A few years ago another work friend also had lung cancer which also caught in the late stages. Rather than spend his family's entire saving fighting the inevitable, he refused treatment (except for pain-management) and was gone in six months.

In both cases they are/were long-time pack-a-day+ smokers. In both cases they never went to the doctor unless they were "really sick", meaning no annual checkups.

Should people give to support others who made extremely unhealthy lifestyle choices and are now paying the consequences? I don't know if the friend in question here put up the crowdfunding website. It was probably his family and/or friends.


**The five-year survival rate for those diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer is less than 10 percent.
that's a tough one Max. follow your heart.
 

Max R.

On the road
Supporting Member
that's a tough one Max. follow your heart.
Having already experienced both a NDE and the loss of dozens of friends, my heart says "We all die, but it remains largely up to us on how we live and how we choose to face death".
 

Max R.

On the road
Supporting Member
The friend I mentioned died last Friday. His family checked him into a hospice last Thursday and I just found out he died Friday.

"Life is too short to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde
 
J

JoeBlam

Guest
Back in the day I owned a small nightclub in Tempe, Arizona. I was pretty much the KING of Tempe booking rock bands, drinking ice cold Heinekens and romancing the ladies in my white '67 Coupe DeVille with a 454 Eldorado engine....ate Porsches like popcorn....lost that Cadillac in a drag race down through the riverbottom....threw a rod doing 90+...lucky it didn't come in through the floor at me. Still miss that beast....so:

"Buddy when I die, throw my body in the back, ride me to the junkyard in my Cadillac"

-Bruce Sprinsteen-

 
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Max R.

On the road
Supporting Member
Back in the day I owned a small nightclub in Tempe, Arizona. I was pretty much the KING of Tempe booking rock bands, drinking ice cold Heinekens and romancing the ladies in my white '67 Coupe DeVille with a 454 Eldorado engine....ate Porsches like popcorn....lost that Cadillac in a drag race down through the riverbottom....threw a rod doing 90+...lucky it didn't come in through the floor at me. Still miss that beast....so:

"Buddy when I die, throw my body in the back, ride me to the junkyard in my Cadillac"

-Bruce Sprinsteen-

No doubt as true as your USMC Colonel in Vietnam stories.
 
J

JoeBlam

Guest
No doubt as true as your USMC Colonel in Vietnam stories.
I was a 1st Cav E-5 in Vietnam, moron....BullKurtz is a fictional character I invented for some laughs...much the same as we're getting from your character, "Max".
 

Days

Commentator
I was a 1st Cav E-5 in Vietnam, moron....BullKurtz is a fictional character I invented for some laughs...much the same as we're getting from your character, "Max".
BullKurtz was some funny stuff... split my sides every time.
 
J

JoeBlam

Guest
BullKurtz was some funny stuff... split my sides every time.
Thanks! Ol Bull was fun but I had to keep making him more outrageous each appearance and it turned into more than I had time for. But ya never know when he might show up again.
 

Days

Commentator
Where can I read this funny stuff.

Thankx
mostly you can't, it was all lost to antiquated technology. There are websites that try to restore some of that type posting, but it is just a sliver of what happened in the early years...

Wayback Machine search for Slate Fray (Link)


... this didn't work, it gave me old Slate covers, but the Fray was shut down and it no longer has a link, as it no longer exists.
 
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John Doe

I detest liberalism
The Mrs is disabled by a stroke and spends most of the day on the couch. I have a 30 gallon tank set up, near it. It does take work but it brightens her days.
 

John Doe

I detest liberalism
My wife is in the first stages of dementia.
That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

Mrs Doe was already an above knee amputee before the stroke and requires me to help her transfer from the bed to the couch, toilet, shower etc.
She had two falls in the last year, breaking a bone each time, was in a nursing home for a month on one. Had a bad seizure out of the blue last month.

Such is life, brief and sometimes sucks. All we can do is keep on keeping on.
 

voyager

4Q2247365
That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

Mrs Doe was already an above knee amputee before the stroke and requires me to help her transfer from the bed to the couch, toilet, shower etc.
She had two falls in the last year, breaking a bone each time, was in a nursing home for a month on one. Had a bad seizure out of the blue last month.

Such is life, brief and sometimes sucks. All we can do is keep on keeping on.
I tip my hat to you. It makes my problem seem like a day at the beach. I know what's coming, I took care of my benefactor who had no living family after he had dementia at 80 until the end of his life. at 83. I still miss him, he was happy until the end.
 

John Doe

I detest liberalism
I tip my hat to you. It makes my problem seem like a day at the beach. I know what's coming, I took care of my benefactor who had no living family after he had dementia at 80 until the end of his life. at 83. I still miss him, he was happy until the end.
Dementia is not easy either. My neighbor is near 90 (but damn is he in good shape, works in the yard like a 50 yo) his wife has dementia, it finally became to much for him and she is in a home now.
What more can we do? When you love someone, you do all you can.
 

Days

Commentator
Dementia is not easy either. My neighbor is near 90 (but damn is he in good shape, works in the yard like a 50 yo) his wife has dementia, it finally became to much for him and she is in a home now.
What more can we do? When you love someone, you do all you can.
memories can be sweet but memories can torment you also. I think the hardest part having dementia is losing one's strength and bearing, the confusion scares the hell out of a person. The wife and I have had our severe blows to the head... without Jesus and our love for each other, neither of us would be sane.

some things are worth remembering...

Simon & Garfunkel - Full Concert - 11/06/93 - Shoreline Amphitheatre (OFFICIAL)
6,127,055 views
•Nov 6, 2014
 
Remember that goofy prayer, "Now I lay me down to sleep..."? I was always one to be happy to go, any night running, would have been fine with me. Such is the mood of a loner. I tried to sleep with both my wives, but that only works in a king sized bed and I was always poor. Now I'm old and poor. With old age comes pain. And one of the biggest pains is rememberring the stupid things we did and ways we thought in our lives. Today, I live for my wife and son, they need me, at least, I think they do.

I find myself wondering how they would survive if something happened to me. I feel I've woefully let them down, except for faith, I know they will go on believing and trusting. Maybe that was the most important thing to leave them.

We have 3 fish aquariums. Living plants, living moss balls, snails, pretty fish, it's a lot of work but living things keep you company, keep your spirits up. The wife runs a nursery, I send her the water I extract when I clean the gravel, the plants thrive on it, we had a geranium bloom in February, pretty cool experience. Thing is, you get something from living creatures, that the dead furniture doesn't supply. If I die tomorrow, the furniture I built will easily last my son's entire life, but I'm not sure he knows how to care for the fish... the fish give you a big boost, I am afraid they will lose the life they offer, the interaction, they add a big dimension to the home.

That's what I worry about. I worry about what kind of life they will have left. If I lost either of them, it would kill me. This physical life has to end sooner or later, but I always thought it would be alright as long as I got all the furniture built (that's a metaphor) but now I realize, it isn't the furniture that was most important, it's the fish tanks and the plants... its the life, and how will any two of us survive without the 3rd?

If I had the chance to write a note to my younger self, that's what I would have written to myself... focus more on the life, on living things. Instead of fretting over the dead stuff. Maybe I can still learn that.

There is also life in the furniture you built. You shared a vocation with Christ both in carpentry and in bringing your family to God (if not also others). Job well done good and faithful servant I'm sure. Hold tightly onto life while it serves your God.
 
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