James Webb space telescope finds secret Biden docs - Scattered On The Moon !!.

[as seen on tv]

Photo above - Biden's Press Secretary Karine Jean-PIerre deflecting secret doc questions
Not shown - Karine's resignation letter, widely rumored on the internet.
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James Webb space telescope finds secret Biden docs - SCATTERED ON THE MOON!!!.

No . . not really. I just made that up. But you CAN'T rule it out. It COULD happen.

Today I want to give props to the pundit who got their "top secret doc" theory linked on Drudge. The theory that sez “Biden's staff secretly trying to force him out by deliberately flubbing the doc revelations”.

This is totally brilliant. I wish I had written it myself. And certainly true, up to a point.

“Biden's staff” of course is NOT a monolithic army of 20 and 30 somethings wearing “Biden 2024” tee shirts and blowing kazoos like kids on a sugar high at a birthday party. Some of them are positioning themselves strategically and have more flexible alliances. Like possibly for Newsom. Kamala in 2024. Kamala (Apocalypse) now. Former Clinton foundation flunkies. AOC believers. White House dog "Major" certainly has his supporters among the staff, too.

It probably the “Kamala now" brigade that's intentionally bungling their wildfire control jobs. How else can you explain doc cache's four, five, and six?

I have to admit here that I've stopped counting. So has the white house. Yesterday's announcement (on Martin Luther King Day) was the belated discovery of “more pages”. At a Biden private residence.

Kewpie doll press secretary Karine Pierre-Smith DID NOT deliver the following disclaimer: “Just 5 more pages – this time. Yes (sighs) we ARE still looking. These new ones were also marked top secret, but they actually weren't, No . . I don't have to tell you what the doc titles were. You just have to believe me. These are simply among the thousands of government docs every day which are marked top secret, but only because they contain the names of political operatives who are doing things the public shouldn't find out about. Todays docs had no more stuff about Russia, Iran, Ukraine, China. I swear to God. Oh geez .. I need a drink . .. you can't pay me enough to keep doing this!"

Have you heard the rumor that Karine Jean-Pierre is leaving her job as Press Secretary? For pete's sake – it's only been one year. Google it – her resignation is an actual rumor. The rats are fleeing the sinking ship. The White House Easter Bunny is probably next. That costumed staffer who pulled Biden away from the cameras during the "egg roll" on the south lawn.

Back to the James Webb space telescope. If I was press secretary for a day, I'd know how to put an end to this dumpster fire. Using over the top humor: “We want to confirm – the ginormous webb space telescope has examined EVERY INCH of the moon in detail. No secret docs found blowing in the wind. Yes, we even did the dark side of the moon, where that chinese robot lander is. No . . we did NOT delay NASA's wildly expensive search for more 13 billion year old galaxies that have already burned out and died. The public vitally needs to know whenever we find more of those . Why!? I'll tell you why. Because these finds provide a reassuring sense of order in the universe. One that is lacking here in DC.”

And I'd close my press conference by saying “Thanks for listening today”, take off my orange Leeloo curly mop wig (from “the third element” - see my avatar image - which looks like a day-glow version of Karine's 'do) and resign and have a drink.

Thanks for listening today. But I'm not resigning from snarky political posts. At least not until ALL the secret docs are found – Biden's, Trump's. Obama's. Hillary's. Musk's. You just know they're all sweating bullets, and checking their closets, garages, and former offices, right?