| Hauteur & kevinarno C'mon! We've all seen the movies and read the books, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more! We all know that wherever we see contempt we can find passion lurking just beneath the surface if only we would take the time to poke it with a sharp stick. Far be it from me to pass up a good poke when I see it! Offspring: Provocateur - This power-mad irresistible force of unadulterated ego wields the flush user function with gusto rivaling that of Jason swinging his machete, leaving behind him the bleeding lifeless (and MBTU-less) husks of those with the temerity to disagree. denny & Robo_Editor This pairing is legitimate fodder by virtue of their shared automaton-like qualities. Plus it's my bit and I say so. Neener neener. Offspring: [insert random nic of the week here] - This poster is the poster boy for persistent posting, the first authentic example of a wholly automated posting engine with a source database equal in size to the internet itself. If you should accidentally open and read one of its posts, you may get the feeling that you've read it before. You have. Also, the first example of Artificial Stupidity (AS) to pass the Tiring test (in which a test subject is challenged to tell the difference between having a conversation with the AS and a debilitating energy-sapping disease). Did I say AS? I meant ASS. Thrasymachus & locdog These two posters are always dancing around each other. That's gotta mean something, right? Offspring: MachoDog - This Navy SEAL-trained bleeding heart will kick your ass and make you care. Secure in his own belief system he is nevertheless internally conflicted by Intelligent Design. fatman & littlemo Don't get ahead of me people! Wait for it...... Offspring: AdamBomb - This poster's movie poster sez "the story of the extraordinary people who changed our world." This film reenacts the Manhattan Project, the secret wartime project in New Mexico where the first atomic bombs were designed and built. Starring Paul Newman, Dwight Schultz, Bonnie Bedelia, John Cusack, and Laura Dern. DawnCoyote & DragonTat2 These two ladies with mythical animal monikers are both sweethearts unless you say something stupid. So don't. Say something stupid that is. Plus, they've been seen hanging out together IRL, more than enough for the "If They Mated" team to fire up the old "mate-o-tron." Offspring: MangOfLaMancha - This poster's big heart is exceeded only by her even bigger lance. She travels the world righting wrongs and correcting injustice (along with other, you know, windmill-tilting stuff). Oh, and having a little fun on the side. butterscotch & bacon Coincidence that these two are always near each other in any alphabetical listing of Frayerati? I think not! Offspring: ReesesGooeyStrips - Two great tastes that taste great together! ghost & Col-BullKurtz Why did I pair these two wildly different posters together? Consider: combination as tautology. Not intending to sound cryptic, probably failing (conversation for another time). Offspring: what_did_he_say - The Fray's first ruthlessly logical babbling idiot. Now with 50% more obscenities! DrNo & YessireeBob OK, so these two aren't seen in public together very often. But c'mon, with names like that they're just askin' for it! That gives us rocket scientist types at "If They Mated" headquarters clear license to proceed with the mating. Yes, we checked with Legal first. Offspring: MaybeBaby - Maybe half the time you can figure out this poster's point. The rest of the time: duck and cover, baby, duck and cover! twifferTheGnu & [Newbie To Be Named Later] The research staff here at "If They Mated" headquarters reserves the right to engage in at least one off-the-wall pairing for no sound reason at all. This is [it] [one of them]. Offspring: twifferTheNewbie - This earnest and affable young court jester has an interesting and insightful comment to make on just about any topic, but nobody ever reads his posts because... um... who were we talking about again? MichaelRyerson & Splendid_IREny These posters, well-spoken and secure in their beliefs, will always respond civilly when so addressed. But they can both bring it when the chimps are down (yes, I said "chimps"... we seem to have a surplus of dressed-up monkeys wandering the Fray halls these days). Offspring: we_shall_overcome - The very model of a modern posting liberal. I may not always agree with what this poster has to say, but damn! I want him watching my six! the_count & Betty_the_Crow OK, this is [the other one]. Sue me. Offspring: count_your_chickens - This poster has mastered the art of the meaningful non-sequitur. Listen to what he says, even if it makes no sense. IOZ & doodahman Team Satire on the Fray. If you can't find any skewers at the local meat market for your teriyaki cookout, it's because these gentlemen have depleted the world's supply for use in their essays. Offspring: IOwnU - Lookout! This poster is a comedic explosion of sarcasm and irony with some gratuitous profanity thrown in for good measure. IOwnU refers to himself in the third person and shows little tolerance for stupidity. Go ahead, say something stupid. You'll find his Fluffy White Boot up your lily-white ass (or ass of color as the case may be). Bald_Tony & DemonFromHell These two lovable mugs have their principle residences in Grouchville, USA. Anyone doubt that they hang out at the local pub/library/mall skewering hapless passersby with their barbed tongues? Offspring: DevilMayHair - This poster is a pinpoint singularity of irascible crankiness who doesn't give a damn what other Fraysters think. Approaching DevilMayHair too closely may result in local time dilation effects making your posting engagement seeem tooo taaakkee ffooorreeeevvvveeeeerrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! Be careful not to cross the event horizon or you'll find yourself in the mythical 10th circle of Hell being ground to paste in DevilMayHair's noisome fetid mandibles. Dallas_NE & DarkKnight Meh. Opposite poles (and polls). Hold your enemies closer and all that. Offspring: OnTheFence - This coupling might one day answer the age-old question "what would happen if a resistible force met a moveable object?" Or not. FrayGoddess & MsZilla Who could resist this pairing? The divine Fray spirit, no doubt created by the elder gods to act as guardian of our cybersouls, and the down-to-earth IRL mom self-appointed to supervise our more prosaic Fray activities and nurture our Fray minds. Or something. Anyways, the payoff's in the name... Offspring: GoddessZilla - This fire breathing fraymother will just as soon smite you where you stand as recommend a good movie or video game. Stay on her good side and she'll clasp you unto her bosom, but stray and she'll raze your downtown district, flattening your tanks and swatting your planes from the sky. TheMaxFischerPlayers & The_Bell Two of the most respected posters on the Fray, these two probably hang out together in the private suite in the back (the one with the velvet curtain guarded by the mook with the dark glasses and earpiece). Or maybe they trade cheerful hellos in the executive washroom. I wouldn't know, I'm one of the little people... [sniff]. Offspring: SavedByTheBell - The prince of extra-curricular activities, this poster will answer even the tiniest inquiry with vast tracts of text in a tremendous treatise (but eloquent... so eloquent). Geoff & chango Is it just me or are these guys a bit cryptic? I always open their posts but I'm often left scratching my head on the other side... Offspring: lets_tango - This cyber cipher glides serenely in the rarified atmosphere above the Fray, occasionally alighting on a juicy post to decorate it with a delicate crystalline bon mot... or sometimes just to poop on it. Ducadmo & historyguy Ducadmo can puntificate on just about any topic and historyguy can quote a previous thread on it. That's enough for me! Offspring: Duc_of_url - This poster can produce a link to any punjack in the Fray archives. And when it came to punjacks, Ducadmo than anybody... [lieberal partisan hack] & [repuke partisan hack] Representatives of this ilk are legion. Here I am speculating about them breeding when I should really be figuring out how to release sterilized individuals into the population to prevent it. Offspring: SeeAndPee - No, not what your dog does on his walk, but rather "c&p", short for "copy and paste" (though the resemblance between your dog's leftovers and this poster's offerings is more than a little eerie... and now that I think about it, it does describe his MO...). This willful loon will fill the board with metric tons of blind partisan diatribe brimming with illogical strawmen and regurgitated crap, responding to the perceived political leaning of the target poster and not even tangentially to any actual points made. This poster is a force of nature and can't be reasoned with. Batten down the hatches and pray that FEMA has its shit together this time around. - skitch |
Musings from the BOTF
- Thread starter JackDallas
- Start date
Tempo was a manipulating b**ch, and the neediest woman on the Fray. She was always scheming and conniving, playing popularity games and trying to coerce people to do this or that, for her.
She was a shitty poet, couldn't hold a candle to Catnapping.
Tempo posted a picture of herself once and I told her she was fairly attractive for a fat girl. And holy shit, you would have thought I'd shot a baby deer on national TV. The whole BOTF, men and women ganged up on me. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time.
I learned a lesson about trying to do humor on a printed page with people who do not understand Texas colloquialisms. I told one woman on the BOTF, that she needed to be tied up and peed on.
Now, in Texas that is a well known cure that Texas men suggest for other Texas men to do to their uppity wives. No Texas man would do this, or even say it to his wife but it's just something we say to impress each other.
Well, no one on the Fray was impressed. I got warnings and had to write an explanation and apologize to the intended recipient of the imagined hosing down. I can't even remember who she was now.
Them wuz the good ol' days.
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