as seen on tv
Senator
Illustration above - Montgolfier brothers (France) demonstrate balloon flight in 1783
Not shown - AI generated concept of the first balloon flight
Sorry – not sorry. I thought I'd be done snarking about the balloon thing by now. But here we go - these are my top 10 headlines about the balloon and other topics, all of which are true.
- Chinese officials say they “reserve the right to respond in kind” to violations of its airspace, after its balloon was popped in USA. And China also continues to violate Taiwan's airspace weekly with “training exercises.”
- Sand on beach from Tom Brady's second retirement announcement goes on sale for $99,000. The site of his 2nd 'unretirement/return to NFL' announcement has yet to be determined, but sand from that location has probably already been scooped up by someone.
- It's going to take 6 DAYS (!!!) for a navy “recovery vessel” to reach the balloon debris. In the meantime, the entire US 7th fleet is guarding the crash site, evidently because they don't have any salvage equipment on board themselves.
- Democrats demote New Hampshire – no longer first primary in the nation. Evidently because 10 the 14 residents of “Dixville Notch”, which votes at 12:01 am, are Republicans, and this sends an unfortunate message.
- Record low of 114 below zero recorded on Mt. Washington in New Hampshire. Brawl breaks out among bar patrons about whether this “proves” or “refutes” global warming.
- A New York public school was trashed on social media for serving “waffles and chicken” on the first day of black history month. In their defense, the cafeteria manager pointed that “waffles and chicken” is on the menu at least one day every month, and the kids love it.
- Professional Illustrators demand protection from AI/computer generated art, which might decimate their jobs and income. During the 1800's “luddites” in Britain rioted to stop power looms from taking away their cottage industry handmade cloth.
- There is a “scientific consortium” about to spend hundreds of millions to clone and resurrect the extinct 'Dodo bird”. Experts warn we should expect to pay more for zoo admission, parking, snacks, and souvenir "Dodo" tee-shirts.
- ChatGPT (an AI system) “endorsed” Warren Buffet's investing strategies. After being fed decades of Buffet's tweets, newsletters, and press releases, as “training material”
- Tickets still available for tonight's Grammy Awards show. Spoiler alert - Beyonce wins.