And it came to pass that a decree was sent from the government instructing all citizens to fill out new W-4 forms and become current with their tax responsibilities.
And a man named Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with his significant other, Mary. Mary was possession of an undetermined amount of fetal tissue and had decided not to exercise her right of choice to terminate the pregnancy. Upon arriving in Bethlehem the couple went to a local (name withheld due to “equal time” regulations) hotel but were told there was no room for them. Joseph had no reservation confirmation and therefore had no legal rights to a claim. A traveler’s aid agency was called and the local representative assisted them in finding alternate lodging.
And so they were directed to an animal containment facility where Mary gave birth to her first child, a boy. She wrapped him in a sterile fabric, from which the tag had not been removed, and laid him in a device designed for the feeding of domesticated creatures.
And there were at that very same time, in the nearby hills, Sheep Management Personnel, drawing shift differential pay for working nights, watching over their wool bearing entities. And all of a sudden, a mythological extra-terrestrial being, representing a non-specific deity appeared in the sky above the Sheep Managers and said in an adequately audible voice, “Lo, I bring you positive input intended to engender warm feelings of sensitivity and understanding, for this day, in the city of Bethlehem there is born a Holiday Infant who is (Greek word for one spoken of in Jewish mythology as Messiah) the alleged ruler of said Jews. You will find him in an animal containment facility, wrapped in sterile fabric, from which the tag has not been removed, lying in an animal feeding device.
And there were, all around the mythological extra-terrestrial being, multitudes of other mythological extra-terrestrial beings, praising the non-specific deity and saying, “peace on earth to individuals with no belligerent intent.”
And there were also an undisclosed number of men of advanced intellect, who had traveled from countries in the east for Winter Break, who made inquiries about the Holiday Infant, saying, “We have seen his astronomical sign in the east and have come to pay him an unspecified degree of respect. We bring gifts of non-gender specific perfume and toiletries.
And it came to pass that likewise the Sheep Management Personnel, after ensuring the safety and comfort of their wool bearing entities, went to where the Holiday Infant lay in the animal feeding device. After witnessing all that they had been told by the mythological extra-terrestrial creatures they went away and informed the villages and towns of the alleged wonders they had seen.
And so the news of the Holiday Infant and of the very first Winter Break went out to all the land and the people were filled with warm feeling of sensitivity as they went around continually wishing each other greetings of “happy non-specific holiday.”
No animals were harmed during the writing of this story.
And a man named Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with his significant other, Mary. Mary was possession of an undetermined amount of fetal tissue and had decided not to exercise her right of choice to terminate the pregnancy. Upon arriving in Bethlehem the couple went to a local (name withheld due to “equal time” regulations) hotel but were told there was no room for them. Joseph had no reservation confirmation and therefore had no legal rights to a claim. A traveler’s aid agency was called and the local representative assisted them in finding alternate lodging.
And so they were directed to an animal containment facility where Mary gave birth to her first child, a boy. She wrapped him in a sterile fabric, from which the tag had not been removed, and laid him in a device designed for the feeding of domesticated creatures.
And there were at that very same time, in the nearby hills, Sheep Management Personnel, drawing shift differential pay for working nights, watching over their wool bearing entities. And all of a sudden, a mythological extra-terrestrial being, representing a non-specific deity appeared in the sky above the Sheep Managers and said in an adequately audible voice, “Lo, I bring you positive input intended to engender warm feelings of sensitivity and understanding, for this day, in the city of Bethlehem there is born a Holiday Infant who is (Greek word for one spoken of in Jewish mythology as Messiah) the alleged ruler of said Jews. You will find him in an animal containment facility, wrapped in sterile fabric, from which the tag has not been removed, lying in an animal feeding device.
And there were, all around the mythological extra-terrestrial being, multitudes of other mythological extra-terrestrial beings, praising the non-specific deity and saying, “peace on earth to individuals with no belligerent intent.”
And there were also an undisclosed number of men of advanced intellect, who had traveled from countries in the east for Winter Break, who made inquiries about the Holiday Infant, saying, “We have seen his astronomical sign in the east and have come to pay him an unspecified degree of respect. We bring gifts of non-gender specific perfume and toiletries.
And it came to pass that likewise the Sheep Management Personnel, after ensuring the safety and comfort of their wool bearing entities, went to where the Holiday Infant lay in the animal feeding device. After witnessing all that they had been told by the mythological extra-terrestrial creatures they went away and informed the villages and towns of the alleged wonders they had seen.
And so the news of the Holiday Infant and of the very first Winter Break went out to all the land and the people were filled with warm feeling of sensitivity as they went around continually wishing each other greetings of “happy non-specific holiday.”
No animals were harmed during the writing of this story.
