as seen on tv
Senator
It’s now been 5 days since the last “toxic Obama outbreak”. That was an appearance where droves of loyal democrats walked out of a fundraiser for someone other than the president, when Obama made an unannounced appearance. (Full disclosure – the White House website says you cannot lose an election simply by being in the same room with President Obama, or other "casual contact". People are evidently skeptical, however.)
Republicans are no doubt miserable by the dearth of Obama sightings, as each presidential appearance appears to drag incumbent Democrat senators and house members further down in the polls.
The Reverend Doctor Ben Carson appeared on TV to predict further Obama outbreaks in the future however. (Full disclosure – Ben Carson is an actual doctor, not like that lifetime political leech Ron Klown who was put in charge of Ebola). Here’s what Carson had to say:
“The best way to avoid Obama infestation is to attend church, don’t marry a gay person, and ignore that nonsense about marijuana being a medicine. Oh, and don’t travel to DC. The airports there should be quarrantined.”
Reverend Dr Carson is expected to run for president in 2016 under the banner of the "Truth and Busted" party. Carson not only represents an unpgrade from current Ebola Czar, but if he made it to the White House he would be a more authentic African American voice than the current occupant. Dr. Carson’s background includes . . .
· Born in Detroit, not Hawaii or some African dicatatorship
· His father was a Baptist minister, not an immigrant seeking a quick US marriage visa
· Attended public schools, came up “the hard way”
· Worked hard his entire life; no stints on the public dole as a community organizer or college instructor with only one course to teach
· Believes that education and hard workare a better path to success than dropping out of high school and using marijuana, medicinal or otherwise.
In related news, more than 100 staffers at “the Clinton Foundation” (not an official campaign organization, despite appearances) are believed to have been assigned to track down every white woman Ben Carson ever worked with, to see if he possibly made a pass at any of them. Democrats, of course, are hilariously unaware of the irony that this (interracial dating) is exactly how Obama’s daddy met his momma.
Republicans are no doubt miserable by the dearth of Obama sightings, as each presidential appearance appears to drag incumbent Democrat senators and house members further down in the polls.
The Reverend Doctor Ben Carson appeared on TV to predict further Obama outbreaks in the future however. (Full disclosure – Ben Carson is an actual doctor, not like that lifetime political leech Ron Klown who was put in charge of Ebola). Here’s what Carson had to say:
“The best way to avoid Obama infestation is to attend church, don’t marry a gay person, and ignore that nonsense about marijuana being a medicine. Oh, and don’t travel to DC. The airports there should be quarrantined.”
Reverend Dr Carson is expected to run for president in 2016 under the banner of the "Truth and Busted" party. Carson not only represents an unpgrade from current Ebola Czar, but if he made it to the White House he would be a more authentic African American voice than the current occupant. Dr. Carson’s background includes . . .
· Born in Detroit, not Hawaii or some African dicatatorship
· His father was a Baptist minister, not an immigrant seeking a quick US marriage visa
· Attended public schools, came up “the hard way”
· Worked hard his entire life; no stints on the public dole as a community organizer or college instructor with only one course to teach
· Believes that education and hard workare a better path to success than dropping out of high school and using marijuana, medicinal or otherwise.
In related news, more than 100 staffers at “the Clinton Foundation” (not an official campaign organization, despite appearances) are believed to have been assigned to track down every white woman Ben Carson ever worked with, to see if he possibly made a pass at any of them. Democrats, of course, are hilariously unaware of the irony that this (interracial dating) is exactly how Obama’s daddy met his momma.
