First Things First

[Zam-Zam]

Unclear How Bad Mass Shooting Is Until Authorities Release Details Of Everyone's Skin Color

U.S.—According to media reports, there has been a mass shooting. As of now, it is unclear how bad the mass shooting is, or whether anyone should care about it-- since authorities have not yet released the skin colors of the perpetrator and the victims.

"It's possible this could be a horrific mass shooting we will talk about for years to come," said one news anchor. "On the other hand, it may just be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting that we'll forget by tomorrow since it doesn't fit the narrative we are trying to sell right now. For the time being, please be sure to assume this shooting confirms all your most horrific biases about the state of our country. Stay tuned for more details-- unless we decide you don't really need to hear more details."

Already, social media is buzzing with speculation and anger, confirming everything everyone already knew about how horrible the groups of people who they think are so horrible really are.

"Not surprised," said one American. "This is America-- the country where the exact people I hate are as horrible as I thought they were."

The media has assured they will probably just hold off on reporting further details until the preferred narrative has had time to run its course.


Unclear How Bad Mass Shooting Is Until Authorities Release Details Of Everyone's Skin Color | The Babylon Bee


Warning: Satire. Not for the humor-impaired.

 

[RickWA]

Unclear How Bad Mass Shooting Is Until Authorities Release Details Of Everyone's Skin Color

U.S.—According to media reports, there has been a mass shooting. As of now, it is unclear how bad the mass shooting is, or whether anyone should care about it-- since authorities have not yet released the skin colors of the perpetrator and the victims.

"It's possible this could be a horrific mass shooting we will talk about for years to come," said one news anchor. "On the other hand, it may just be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting that we'll forget by tomorrow since it doesn't fit the narrative we are trying to sell right now. For the time being, please be sure to assume this shooting confirms all your most horrific biases about the state of our country. Stay tuned for more details-- unless we decide you don't really need to hear more details."

Already, social media is buzzing with speculation and anger, confirming everything everyone already knew about how horrible the groups of people who they think are so horrible really are.

"Not surprised," said one American. "This is America-- the country where the exact people I hate are as horrible as I thought they were."

The media has assured they will probably just hold off on reporting further details until the preferred narrative has had time to run its course.


Unclear How Bad Mass Shooting Is Until Authorities Release Details Of Everyone's Skin Color | The Babylon Bee


Warning: Satire. Not for the humor-impaired.

This is so clearly spot on and blisteringly accurate that it exists as BOTH “satire” and “factual”. It’s Alice in Wonderland stuff at this point. :-/

 

[Zam-Zam]

This is so clearly spot on and blisteringly accurate that it exists as BOTH “satire” and “factual”. It’s Alice in Wonderland stuff at this point. :-/

Good satire has an element of truth in it.

This has just enough to qualify, and enough to make it unbearably uncomfortable for some folks, IMHO.

 

[sensible don]

Well this isn't even past the thoughts and prayers stage and already we jump to #5 - not surprising - you gotta lay the groundwork for the next 3-4 days of denials and pry from my cold hands defense

 

[sensible don]

 

[Zam-Zam]

Well this isn't even past the thoughts and prayers stage and already we jump to #5 - not surprising - you gotta lay the groundwork for the next 3-4 days of denials and pry from my cold hands defense

I don't understand what you're talking about by I appreciate the bump. Thank you.


"Not surprised," said one American. "This is America-- the country where the exact people I hate are as horrible as I thought they were."

 

[JuliefromOhio]

Well this isn't even past the thoughts and prayers stage and already we jump to #5 - not surprising - you gotta lay the groundwork for the next 3-4 days of denials and pry from my cold hands defense

Rightwingers think it's okay to joke about mass shootings. How pro-life of them.

This opening post belongs in the Trash Heap.

 

[Zam-Zam]

Rightwingers think it's okay to joke about mass shootings. How pro-life of them.

No. We're joking about the race-baiters reactions to them.

I thought it was pretty obvious, although I grant you it will likely elude the race-baiters.

 

[sensible don]

No. We're joking about the race-baiters reactions to them.

I thought it was pretty obvious, although I grant you it will likely elude the race-baiters.

Riddle me this batman - What happens if a mass shooter goes to a Q-ANON typical racist rally and opens fire, does that change the narrative any ?

 

[sensible don]

No. We're joking about the race-baiters reactions to them.

I thought it was pretty obvious, although I grant you it will likely elude the race-baiters.

This guy is already joking about 10 dead, hey another blue life that doesn't matter to the right wingers - am I right?

 

[JuliefromOhio]

No. We're joking about the race-baiters reactions to them.

I thought it was pretty obvious, although I grant you it will likely elude the race-baiters.

You're the one doing the race-baiting.

 

[Zam-Zam]

Riddle me this batman - What happens if a mass shooter goes to a Q-ANON typical racist rally and opens fire, does that change the narrative any ?

You would use it as an opportunity to score cheap political points, no?

That's the point.

 

[Zam-Zam]

You're the one doing the race-baiting.

Coming from you....That makes my day.

Thank you so much - I'll be walking on clouds for the rest of the day.

 

[Zam-Zam]

This guy is already joking about 10 dead, hey another blue life that doesn't matter to the right wingers - am I right?

No, he's joking about you.

I am right.