as seen on tv
Senator
(full disclosure – the enclosed post is a political satire, Bitter Pill, so you don't have to ask 10 times in the middle of the thread)
A hearty Buenos Dias to our 5 million new citizens. You CAN go home again, of course, but I’m betting few actually want to. At least not until the brou-ha-ha is over concerning the 43 hacked to death university students which la policia turned over to drug cartel. El Presidente de Mexico (who represents the PRI party, which has held power for a century) has promised a full and fair investigation, even though he is under no obligation to do so. So that's good news, eh?
In the meantime, while you continue waiting for democracy and human rights to arrive in Mexico, you’ll need jobs. This is where I had a brainstorm last night.
This website needs a Spanish language forum. We’re too darned white, atheist, and effete (note - this is NOT a gay slur. I consider myself effete but heterosexual. Others consider me a pain in the ass though). The current posters on this forum don’t represent the America we are rapidly becoming. And I think we may have murdered the only Canadian poster we had, but don't let that scare you. No canadians got amnesty last night anyway, as far as I can tell.
To get on with our new “Todo en Espanol” forum, we will of course need Spanish language moderators. Or as they’re known in your home country “Censors sin Fronteras”. This is where you come in. We don’t need 5 million new moderators, of course. Probably 2 will cover it. One to handle the majority of the duties, and a relief moderator if the starting pitcher has a bad day and ends up throwing a lot of beanballs at the batters.
Unfortunately, our forum moderators are not paid. Not even minimum wage, which you’re probably making already at the Holiday Inn or Burger King. They’re all volunteers. So I ask some of our new amnest-citizens to step forward and embrace the american tradition of volunteering without pay. This will free up the rest of us to carp endlessly about the job which moderators are doing, like parents criticizing the coaches at their kids' soccer games.
Hope to see you signing up pronto, Hombre! And again, welcome to El Norte!
