Is “Duck Dynasty” the 2013 version of “All in the Family”?

[as seen on tv]

Okay – I finally watched an episode of Duck Dynasty. Part of one, at least. BORING !! They were sitting around the shop, and one guy was complaining he was doing all the work while the other 2 played cribbage or something. I didn’t see any duck calls tested. No exhortations to pray, or condemnations of gays. And no ducks were harmed in the making of that episode, actually.

Request to PJ contributors – have any episodes actually featured duck hunting, or duck preparation in the kitchen? That’s the rationale for their empire, isn’t it? How about training some loyal dogs to retrieve a fallen mallard?

Round these parts (Maryland) they apparently hunt geese (Canadian), not ducks. I’ve never been of course. It’s apparently more expensive than golf, which I don’t play either. You rent a “pit” (ankle deep in freezing water) and probably have a “guide” and his retrievers. Then a professional plucker resolves your kill later, so you don’t have to eviscerate and de-feather the birds yourself. I’ve never been deer hunting either.

I’m just messing with you. I know its not about the ducks. It’s about male bonding. A duck blind or goose pit is the ultimate man cave. No big screen TV, WiFi, or wet bar. Just the guys, a dog, and maybe a six pack or a hip flask. A chance for them to bond, and us to go shopping. You brought home dinner? That’s nice dear. Let me put it in the freezer and throw it out next month after you’ve forgotten about it. I ordered pizza tonight – double pepperoni, like you always like.

Duck Dynasty is controversial. Just like that show by Norman Jewison (oddly enough, NOT a jew) called “All in the Family”. AITF challenged the viewpoints of the audience in a humorous way. People had sex without the benefit of clergy, smoked pot, and dodged the draft. Blacks moved into the neighborhood (but not jews). It’s all good.

Duck Dynasty pretty much does the same thing. For an urban elitist audience, it must be a hoot to see ZZ Top’s kids making a fortune whittling wooden reeds while you schlep off to your desk job paying $33,000 a year without health insurance, eh?
For all its outré challenge to convention, All in the Family did NOT feature televisions first interracial kiss. That came on “Star Trek”.

But Duck Dynasty has handed A&E a bonanza beyond their wildest dreams. It’s like the “new coke” fiasco – you couldn’t plan a better a controversy, even if you tried in a million years. It keeps the public riveted on your brand. A&E milked this religious controversy for all it was worth over the holy days, then reinstated Scrooge McDuck to his position as head of the flock.

I give Duck Dynasty another year or so, like “Orange County Choppers”. Then there will be some sort of family schism. The kids and dad will have some sort of trivial but irreconcilable dispute, and we might get 2 shows. “Ducks – the next generation”, like Star Trek?

The good thing about all this (I guess its good) is that I finally watched 10 minutes or so of the most popular reality TV show in the history of America. The one which President Obama says he watches on Air Force one, when he’s not busy making sure that we can keep our health plans if we like them.

What a naked political statement – “I watch Duck Dynasty. I’m a man of the people just like you” The only thing funnier would be the next republican president assuring us he watches 2017’s most popular reality show “Pot Poor-ee” about a some backwoods hippies who strike it rich with legal marijuana.

Don’t say it can’t happen. You know it can.

full disclosure - ASOT is secular, having abandoned the hebrew faith of her fathers. she does not hunt ducks. but she finally nailed that pesky squirrel (with a pellet gun) that was draining the birdfeeder on the balcony. and felt bad about it for the rest of the day. for real.

 

[Saladin2]

The dad appears to be a member of the KKK...Don't know about the rest of those bearded red necks

 

[Craig]

View attachment 24421

Round these parts (Maryland) they apparently hunt geese (Canadian), not ducks. I’ve never been of course. It’s apparently more expensive than golf, which I don’t play either. You rent a “pit” (ankle deep in freezing water) and probably have a “guide” and his retrievers. Then a professional plucker resolves your kill later, so you don’t have to eviscerate and de-feather the birds yourself. I’ve never been deer hunting either.

Which Duck would be Meathead?


Maryland hunts ducks. Geese too.

http://www.dnr.state.md.us/huntersguide/lwfchart.asp


M R Ducks...


...One man said to the other, “I could really enjoy a cold beer right now”. The other man replied “Me too”. And the third man said, "Wouldn’t it be great if there was a bar right here”. There it was the “Great Idea” a bar on the dock, right over the water. The three men talked about the idea the rest of the night. The next day the idea was lost, until 1982 when Mr. Lewis purchased that same property where those three men stood. He built the bar right on the dock, over the water just like the men wanted.

Now, he needed a name for this new bar. He had some good ideas, but this was going to be a special place and it needed a name to fit. Mr. Lewis remembered when he was a young man duck hunting with some good old boys from Worcester County. They were sitting in a Duck Blind when one man jumped up with his gun and said with a heavy eastern shore accent, “M. R. Ducks”. The other guy said, “M. R. Not” The first man replied, “O.S.A.R. C.M. Wangs”. The second man said, “ L.I.B. M. R. Ducks”. Then they all shot, Bang, Bang, Bang. What a great day the three men got their limit and had a delicious feast at the hunting lodge. As he remembered the story, M. R. Ducks kept ringing in his head. He thought what a great name for his new bar M. R. Ducks (translates in proper English to - them are ducks) and so it was.

http://www.mrducksbar.com/ocean-city-history

 

[GordonGecko]

Couple of things

1. It was Nomran LEAR who was the creator of "All in the Family", not Norman Jewison, who was the director of "Moonstruck", "Fiddler on the Roof", etc.

2. You are right about the life-span of "Duck Dynasty"....after the hoopla dies down, it's probably got one or two more years left. (In the meantime, gay rights will progress...as Phil Robertson is forgotten).

3. Like many "reality" TV shows...it's fake. Roberston himself has a Master's in education and is not some "Jed Clampett". Even he accuses his sons of being "yuppies". So the whole "Mountain Man" or "Swampers" personae is bullshit.

 

[fairsheet]

The duck thing reminds me a little of "Geico's" caveman and "Progressive's" Flo. They were fun and funny at first, but their adsters can help but milk them until they're dry.

I couldn't last through 5 minutes of the duck thing. It's the beards. ANY man can grow a beard, so they aren't any more "special" than plumber's butts. BUT....I can see how some might be interested/curious through a coupla episodes. But c'mon....a whole series?....spanning years?

 

[GordonGecko]

Barbequed duck meat with broiled duck bill melanaise....

 

[as seen on tv]

Which Duck would be Meathead?


Maryland hunts ducks. Geese too.

http://www.dnr.state.md.us/huntersguide/lwfchart.asp


M R Ducks...


...One man said to the other, “I could really enjoy a cold beer right now”. The other man replied “Me too”. And the third man said, "Wouldn’t it be great if there was a bar right here”. There it was the “Great Idea” a bar on the dock, right over the water. The three men talked about the idea the rest of the night. The next day the idea was lost, until 1982 when Mr. Lewis purchased that same property where those three men stood. He built the bar right on the dock, over the water just like the men wanted.

Now, he needed a name for this new bar. He had some good ideas, but this was going to be a special place and it needed a name to fit. Mr. Lewis remembered when he was a young man duck hunting with some good old boys from Worcester County. They were sitting in a Duck Blind when one man jumped up with his gun and said with a heavy eastern shore accent, “M. R. Ducks”. The other guy said, “M. R. Not” The first man replied, “O.S.A.R. C.M. Wangs”. The second man said, “ L.I.B. M. R. Ducks”. Then they all shot, Bang, Bang, Bang. What a great day the three men got their limit and had a delicious feast at the hunting lodge. As he remembered the story, M. R. Ducks kept ringing in his head. He thought what a great name for his new bar M. R. Ducks (translates in proper English to - them are ducks) and so it was.

http://www.mrducksbar.com/ocean-city-history

yeah thats a restaurant at the eastern shore i believe "MR Ducks". I was there a long time ago i think. You just never see anyone claiming they hunt ducks here. its all geese. not saying there isn't any duck hunting. just that i've never encountered anyone.

 

[SW48]

I watched first year episodes. I don't remember any controversial topics or dialogue.

I think you are mixing up the show with what Phil Robertson said in an interview outside of the show.

They do kill and prepare snakes, frogs, and ducks on the show. I would say that is controversial because they did the frogs right in front of 4th graders for "bring your dad to work day".

 

[GordonGecko]

The duck thing reminds me a little of "Geico's" caveman and "Progressive's" Flo. They were fun and funny at first, but their adsters can help but milk them until they're dry.

I couldn't last through 5 minutes of the duck thing. It's the beards. ANY man can grow a beard, so they aren't any more "special" than plumber's butts. BUT....I can see how some might be interested/curious through a coupla episodes. But c'mon....a whole series?....spanning years?

If they were clean-shaven?...the show would have been a flop.

I saw a Robertson fan say "You gotta think this is what our pioneer forefathers looked like!".......yes, with multi-million bank accounts and hot tubs and $100,000 SUVs....just like Dan'l Boone.

 

[as seen on tv]

Couple of things

1. It was Nomran LEAR who was the creator of "All in the Family", not Norman Jewison, who was the director of "Moonstruck", "Fiddler on the Roof", etc.

2. You are right about the life-span of "Duck Dynasty"....after the hoopla dies down, it's probably got one or two more years left. (In the meantime, gay rights will progress...as Phil Robertson is forgotten).

3. Like many "reality" TV shows...it's fake. Roberston himself has a Master's in education and is not some "Jed Clampett". Even he accuses his sons of being "yuppies". So the whole "Mountain Man" or "Swampers" personae is bullshit.

your right - got my norman's mixed up. thanks.

 

[Bo-4]

To clarify your long-winded review, American Chopper has been on the air for over ten years now ASOT. And Senior and Junior are back together for another season that started last October.

The Duck Boys won't make it that long.

 

[as seen on tv]

I watched first year episodes. I don't remember any controversial topics or dialogue.

I think you are mixing up the show with what Phil Robertson said in an interview outside of the show.

They do kill and prepare snakes, frogs, and ducks on the show. I would say that is controversial because they did the frogs right in front of 4th graders for "bring your dad to work day".

there's a restaurant in bethany beach delaware that sells frog legs. they (claim) they get ALL their frog legs from india - flash frozen and flown in.

did you ever see the movie "cannery row" with Nick Nolte? There's a frog hunting scene in that, where they use the proceeds to buy a telescope. Nice movie, seldom shown on cable.

 

[as seen on tv]

To clarify your long-winded review, American Chopper has been on the air for over ten years now ASOT. And Senior and Junior are back together for another season that started last October.

The Duck Boys won't make it that long.

my favorite chopper episode is the one where "senior" pokes a wasps nest with stick, then has to run for his life as the swarm pursues him.

i didn't realize it was still on the air, or that anyone still watched it. i simply never encounter it on cable any more. you see 100 choppers, you've seen them all. i think duck calls probably even have less staying power.

 

[SW48]

there's a restaurant in bethany beach delaware that sells frog legs. they (claim) they get ALL their frog legs from india - flash frozen and flown in.

did you ever see the movie "cannery row" with Nick Nolte? There's a frog hunting scene in that, where they use the proceeds to buy a telescope. Nice movie, seldom shown on cable.

I have not seen that movie.

It is quite amazing, Phil on the show cuts the frog a certain way so that he can pull the entire skin off the frog in one pull and just have the pinkish insides whole laying there to cook. He does the same with squirrels.

 

[Bernard_Fokke]

About those tree rats ASOT...

I think that one flew about 25 yards
****************
The war on Squirrels: A tactical analysis

Okay, you have declared war on squirrels. Now what? Before you begin any offensive operations, think of what your objective is. "Just getting rid of them" will not give you enough information to adequately plan your battle.


As a friend once said of the game Axis and Allies: "proper prior planning will prevent piss poor performance.” Your objective will decide what weapons to use, which approach is used and disposal. Your battle plan will be much different if you are trying to get them out of the attic than get them out of the garden. When deciding an objective, you must decide if you just want to drive them out or eradication. In addition, of course, consider the area of operations.


If it is just an isolated problem, scaring them away will generally be affective. Low-force air rifles, live-traps, and cats can achieve this. If your neighborhood has a problem with squirrels (often due to someone feeding them,) they will return as soon as you scare them away. In such cases, you may be forced to eliminate squirrels that continually come into the problem area. If you are forced to do this, remember that in the wild a hawk may catch them and be fully conscious while their intestine is being pulled out, so anything
you do will be far more humane by comparison.


Once you have an objective, your next step is to plan the fight. Look over your yard soon to be a battleground. Take note neighboring properties, trees, hills, and electrical wires. Under no circumstance do you open fire on a squirrel moving along or near a power line. Do not conduct operations outside your property unless the owner has agreed to join the fight.


Next, you decide on weapons. The list below gives a good description of weapons effective against squirrels.


Traps.

More than likely, you will use a trap of one kind or another over the course of the war. Kill-traps big enough to kill squirrels that work by force (like mousetraps) can be VERY dangerous and used with extreme caution. Such traps should also be used only in enclosed area, such as an attic or garage.


Live traps are useful for outside use, and can be home made for far less than one in the store. Weather you use bought or home made traps, make sure it is strong enough to hold a full-grown squirrel. They are a lot stronger than they look. Before you buy or build a trap, consider what you will do once a prisoner is captured. Be sure that you come to a decision of either relocating the POW or eliminating it.


Poison. Like kill-traps, poison should only be used in enclosed areas. This is so you other animals do not eat it. If you find an area which poison would be useful, no name brand rat poison will work.


Air Rifles.

Air rifles have been used against squirrels as long as they have existed. Today these weapons are diverse in nature and all have their advantages. If you have never handled any type of gun, practice using a single-pump bb gun (be sure to use eye protection.) Do not start shooting squirrels until you are comfortable with your weapon. If you do not, you will miss and alert the squirrels that you are a threat. If you begin your offensive with a good eye, you will do much more damage before the squirrels catch on. Once you are experienced in use of air guns, consider other types.


Multi-pump action air guns are useful at long range but are louder and take a lot longer to ready it for another shot. Air pistols are another choice. Often these weapons use a CO2 cartridge rather than an air pump. These weapons have the advantage of automatic reload. A rifle (single or multi-pump) combined with an air pistol can prove very effective. Particularly with a group, a couple of carefully aimed shots by rifle followed by several short-spaced shots from the pistol can do serious damage.


I have also heard of air machineguns, but I have never handled one or seen one in action. Obviously, such a weapon would have some use, but they are in the $500+ range, and probably require a lot of maintenance. If you have used such a weapon, contact me and tell me your results.


Firearms.

If you are lucky enough to live in a rural area may have the option of using firearms. These are far more likely to kill at ranges beyond those of air guns. If you have never used any gun, however, start with air guns first. Be sure you know how to clean the gun before you start using it.


Once you have chosen your desired weapons, you are almost ready to go at 'em. For an effective offensive, you should know some basic tactics. When trapping, put the trap in a place where the enemy has been seen often. If you are using a home made trap you may have to make several additions to make it squirrel proof.


When using air guns or firearms, use surprise whenever possible. This becomes a problem as the fight goes on and veteran squirrels become more alert to noise. When I first started, some squirrels let me get within five feet. They would stare at me as they ate, not caring that I was aiming at them. This is not the case one-year later. A good place to be is a window that can fully open and covers a large area.

Pursuit operations can prove very difficult, as you will be more in their element. Still, there are strategies for attack. When squirrels get on a tree, they get to the other side and follow you to prevent a line of sight. If you are working with someone else or a dog, simply have them go to the other side while you stay still, ready. The squirrel will come your way. If the squirrel goes into its nest, and it is a stick/leaf one, shooting into it will often bring good results. If you are alone, using a stick can work. If it has a home inside the tree, there is not much you can do. You can nail it if you are quick enough. Do not through smoke bombs into the hole, as it is a fire hazard (I have not done this I swear.)

Other Questions

Will feeding them solve the problem? NO. This is a myth made up by squirrel lovers, who go out of their way to ATTRACT squirrels. They really love to say this to people who feed birds; just give them their own food! The problem with this is simple: feed them and they will come. The squirrel population will merely expand, and anything you wanted them to stay away from will be overrun by new arrivals. I know this is true because my neighbor does this.


.Squirrels were here first, what gives you the right to drive them out? I never quite understood this logic, for it basically says people don't have a home on Earth. Well, something was here before the squirrels, but I guess it was okay for them to be thrown out by squirrels.


In addition, the people who say this seem to lack any responsibility for it. THEY live somewhere, don't they? THEY drive cars (like pollution-belching Jaguars) and drive on ROADS! Who are they to denounce you? See if they will pay the bill for squirrel damage. Is it a sin to kill squirrels? Is it a sin for your immune system to kill bacteria or viruses that get in your blood?


If you say yes, you are already in trouble. This concludes basic training in the art of fighting squirrels. Beyond this you will find strategies more specific to your particular battle. Squirrels can be a challenging quarry, but they will attack if they are cornered.


Good luck.

 

[Craig]

yeah thats a restaurant at the eastern shore i believe "MR Ducks". I was there a long time ago i think. You just never see anyone claiming they hunt ducks here. its all geese. not saying there isn't any duck hunting. just that i've never encountered anyone.

Yeah...the story explained...duck hunters came up with the name. It's a shore thing.

2013-2014 Maryland Late Waterfowl Seasons and Bag Limits
Note: Shooting hours for regular waterfowl seasons are one-half hour before sunrise to sunset except for Resident Canada geese during September seasons and light geese during the Conservation Order season when shooting hours are from one-half hour before sunrise to one half hour after sunset. All hunting season dates are inclusive. The possession limit for all migratory game birds is three times the daily bag limit, except for light geese (greater and lesser snow geese, Ross’ geese) which have no possession limit. Waterfowl hunting is closed on Sundays by Maryland law and federal regulation.

Youth Waterfowl Hunting Days
Season Dates:Nov. 2 & Feb. 8
Daily Bag and Possession Limits:The bag limits for the Youth Waterfowl Hunting Days are the same as the regular season, except (1) One black duck may also be taken and (2) Two Canada geese may be taken when hunting within the AP Canada goose hunt zone, or (3) Five Canada geese may be taken in the Resident (AFRP) Canada goose hunt zone. For a description of each Canada goose hunting zone go to Canada Goose Hunt Zones. There is no open season for harlequin ducks or swans.
Any licensed hunter 15 years old or younger may participate during these one-day hunts. Youth of this age who are exempt from Maryland hunting license requirements may also participate. Youth waterfowl hunters must possess a receipt showing they purchased a $9 Maryland Migratory Game Bird Hunting Stamp. Youth hunters must be accompanied by an adult at least 21 years old that holds a valid Maryland hunting license or is exempt from the hunting license requirements. One adult may take one or more young hunters, and that adult may call waterfowl, assist with decoys and retrieve downed birds but may not possess a hunting weapon and may not participate in other seasons that are open on the youth waterfowl hunting days.


Ducks, Coots, and Mergansers
Regular Duck Season Dates:Oct. 12 - Oct. 19
Nov. 9 - Nov. 29
Dec. 17 - Jan. 25
Black Duck Season Dates:Nov. 9 - Nov. 29
Dec. 17 - Jan. 25
Duck Daily Bag and Possession Limits:The daily bag limit of ducks (including mergansers) is 6. The 6-duck limit shall consist of no more than 5 long-tailed ducks, 4 scoters, 4 mallards (max. 2 hen mallards), 2 scaup, 3 wood ducks, 2 pintails. 2 redheads, 2 hooded mergansers, 2 canvasbacks, 1 black duck (during black duck season), 1 fulvous tree duck, and 1 mottled duck. All other species of ducks (except harlequin duck) may be taken up to the 6-duck limit. The possession limit is three times the daily bag limit. In addition to the duck bag limit hunters may take 15 coots per day. No open season for harlequin ducks and swans.


Sea Ducks (Scoters, Long-tailed Duck, and Eiders)
Season Dates:
(Only in Special Sea Duck Zone)Oct. 1 - Jan. 31
Daily Bag Limit:5 (no more than 4 scoters) per day


Atlantic Population Canada Geese
Season Dates:Nov. 16 - Nov. 29
Dec. 17 - Jan. 29
Daily Bag Limit:2 per day
Hunt Area: Anne Arundel, Baltimore, Calvert, Caroline, Cecil, Dorchester, Harford, Howard, Kent, Queen Anne’s, Somerset, St. Mary’s, Talbot, Wicomico, and Worcester Counties; and that portion of Carroll County east of Route 31 to the intersection of Route 97, and east of Route 97 to the Pennsylvania line; and that portion of Prince George’s County east of Route 3 and Route 301; and that portion of Charles County east of Route 301 to the Virginia line.


Resident Population Canada Geese (Regular Season)

Season Dates:Nov. 16 - Nov. 29
Dec. 17 - Mar. 5
Daily Bag Limit:5 per day
Hunt Area: Allegany, Frederick, Garrett, Montgomery, and Washington Counties; and that portion of Carroll County west of Route 31 to the intersection of Route 97, and west of Route 97 to the Pennsylvania line; and that portion of Prince George’s County west of Route 3 and Route 301; and that portion of Charles County west of Route 301 to the Virginia line.


Atlantic Brant

Season Dates:Dec. 23 - Jan. 25
Daily Bag Limit:2 per day


Light Geese (Includes Greater and Lesser snow geese and Ross’s geese)

Season Dates:Oct. 5 - Nov. 29
Dec. 16 - Jan. 29
Feb. 8
Daily Bag Limit:25 per day and no possession limit.


Light Goose Conservation Order

Season Dates:Dec. 2 - Dec. 14
Jan. 30 - Feb. 7
Feb. 10 - April 12
Daily Bag Limit:No daily bag or possession limits.
Hunt Area: Anne Arundel, Baltimore, Calvert, Caroline, Cecil, Dorchester, Harford, Howard, Kent, Queen Anne’s, Somerset, St. Mary’s, Talbot, Wicomico, and Worcester Counties; and that portion of Carroll County east of Route 31 to the intersection of Route 97, and east of Route 97 to the Pennsylvania line; that portion of Prince George’s County east of Route 3 and Route 301; and that portion of Charles County east of Route 301 to the Virginia line. The Special Sea Duck Zone is excluded from this hunt area.
Special Regulations during Light Goose Conservation Order Season: (1) Participating hunters must possess a $5 Snow Goose Conservation Order Hunting Season Permit while hunting light geese during this season; (2) Hunters may use shotguns capable of holding more than three shotshells; (3) Hunters may use electronic calls with recordings of light geese; and (4) Shooting hours are from one-half hour before sunrise to one-half hour after sunset.​

​

 

[fairsheet]

If they were clean-shaven?...the show would have been a flop.

I saw a Robertson fan say "You gotta think this is what our pioneer forefathers looked like!".......yes, with multi-million bank accounts and hot tubs and $100,000 SUVs....just like Dan'l Boone.

Something tells me our forefathers hacked their beards off best they could with whatever they had at hand, just so's to get them the hell out of the way. They remind me of those saps with their saggy pants, who always have one hand tied up, just keeping their trousers from falling off!

 

[fairsheet]

About those tree rats ASOT...

I think that one flew about 25 yards
****************
The war on Squirrels: A tactical analysis

Okay, you have declared war on squirrels. Now what? Before you begin any offensive operations, think of what your objective is. "Just getting rid of them" will not give you enough information to adequately plan your battle.


As a friend once said of the game Axis and Allies: "proper prior planning will prevent piss poor performance.” Your objective will decide what weapons to use, which approach is used and disposal. Your battle plan will be much different if you are trying to get them out of the attic than get them out of the garden. When deciding an objective, you must decide if you just want to drive them out or eradication. In addition, of course, consider the area of operations.


If it is just an isolated problem, scaring them away will generally be affective. Low-force air rifles, live-traps, and cats can achieve this. If your neighborhood has a problem with squirrels (often due to someone feeding them,) they will return as soon as you scare them away. In such cases, you may be forced to eliminate squirrels that continually come into the problem area. If you are forced to do this, remember that in the wild a hawk may catch them and be fully conscious while their intestine is being pulled out, so anything
you do will be far more humane by comparison.


Once you have an objective, your next step is to plan the fight. Look over your yard soon to be a battleground. Take note neighboring properties, trees, hills, and electrical wires. Under no circumstance do you open fire on a squirrel moving along or near a power line. Do not conduct operations outside your property unless the owner has agreed to join the fight.


Next, you decide on weapons. The list below gives a good description of weapons effective against squirrels.


Traps.

More than likely, you will use a trap of one kind or another over the course of the war. Kill-traps big enough to kill squirrels that work by force (like mousetraps) can be VERY dangerous and used with extreme caution. Such traps should also be used only in enclosed area, such as an attic or garage.


Live traps are useful for outside use, and can be home made for far less than one in the store. Weather you use bought or home made traps, make sure it is strong enough to hold a full-grown squirrel. They are a lot stronger than they look. Before you buy or build a trap, consider what you will do once a prisoner is captured. Be sure that you come to a decision of either relocating the POW or eliminating it.


Poison. Like kill-traps, poison should only be used in enclosed areas. This is so you other animals do not eat it. If you find an area which poison would be useful, no name brand rat poison will work.


Air Rifles.

Air rifles have been used against squirrels as long as they have existed. Today these weapons are diverse in nature and all have their advantages. If you have never handled any type of gun, practice using a single-pump bb gun (be sure to use eye protection.) Do not start shooting squirrels until you are comfortable with your weapon. If you do not, you will miss and alert the squirrels that you are a threat. If you begin your offensive with a good eye, you will do much more damage before the squirrels catch on. Once you are experienced in use of air guns, consider other types.


Multi-pump action air guns are useful at long range but are louder and take a lot longer to ready it for another shot. Air pistols are another choice. Often these weapons use a CO2 cartridge rather than an air pump. These weapons have the advantage of automatic reload. A rifle (single or multi-pump) combined with an air pistol can prove very effective. Particularly with a group, a couple of carefully aimed shots by rifle followed by several short-spaced shots from the pistol can do serious damage.


I have also heard of air machineguns, but I have never handled one or seen one in action. Obviously, such a weapon would have some use, but they are in the $500+ range, and probably require a lot of maintenance. If you have used such a weapon, contact me and tell me your results.


Firearms.

If you are lucky enough to live in a rural area may have the option of using firearms. These are far more likely to kill at ranges beyond those of air guns. If you have never used any gun, however, start with air guns first. Be sure you know how to clean the gun before you start using it.


Once you have chosen your desired weapons, you are almost ready to go at 'em. For an effective offensive, you should know some basic tactics. When trapping, put the trap in a place where the enemy has been seen often. If you are using a home made trap you may have to make several additions to make it squirrel proof.


When using air guns or firearms, use surprise whenever possible. This becomes a problem as the fight goes on and veteran squirrels become more alert to noise. When I first started, some squirrels let me get within five feet. They would stare at me as they ate, not caring that I was aiming at them. This is not the case one-year later. A good place to be is a window that can fully open and covers a large area.

Pursuit operations can prove very difficult, as you will be more in their element. Still, there are strategies for attack. When squirrels get on a tree, they get to the other side and follow you to prevent a line of sight. If you are working with someone else or a dog, simply have them go to the other side while you stay still, ready. The squirrel will come your way. If the squirrel goes into its nest, and it is a stick/leaf one, shooting into it will often bring good results. If you are alone, using a stick can work. If it has a home inside the tree, there is not much you can do. You can nail it if you are quick enough. Do not through smoke bombs into the hole, as it is a fire hazard (I have not done this I swear.)

Other Questions

Will feeding them solve the problem? NO. This is a myth made up by squirrel lovers, who go out of their way to ATTRACT squirrels. They really love to say this to people who feed birds; just give them their own food! The problem with this is simple: feed them and they will come. The squirrel population will merely expand, and anything you wanted them to stay away from will be overrun by new arrivals. I know this is true because my neighbor does this.


.Squirrels were here first, what gives you the right to drive them out? I never quite understood this logic, for it basically says people don't have a home on Earth. Well, something was here before the squirrels, but I guess it was okay for them to be thrown out by squirrels.


In addition, the people who say this seem to lack any responsibility for it. THEY live somewhere, don't they? THEY drive cars (like pollution-belching Jaguars) and drive on ROADS! Who are they to denounce you? See if they will pay the bill for squirrel damage. Is it a sin to kill squirrels? Is it a sin for your immune system to kill bacteria or viruses that get in your blood?


If you say yes, you are already in trouble. This concludes basic training in the art of fighting squirrels. Beyond this you will find strategies more specific to your particular battle. Squirrels can be a challenging quarry, but they will attack if they are cornered.


Good luck.

My scheme is simple but effective. It consists of a young rat terrier. The moles are tougher. But, a commercial castor oil mix seems to work. The squirrels and moles are my neighbor's problems.

I've had a coupla rat families over the years and I won't foist them off on my neighbors, but they're stories for other times.

 

[GordonGecko]

As a friend once said of the game Axis and Allies: "proper prior planning will prevent piss poor performance.” Your objective will decide what weapons to use, which approach is used and disposal. luck.

Germans- Always seize Karelia and try to hold Africa.

British- Maintain naval power in the North Sea so as to threaten Germany in Finland/Norway or Western Europe.

Japan- Build up transports in the Sea of Japan and pump infantry into Manchuria

Russia- Stop a German-Japanese two front war.

USA- Same as in the real war....Island-hop in the Pacific, build bombers for the UK to do strategic bombing of the German IPCs.

(Just thought I'd help. )

 

[Saladin2]

Wow...eating squirrels...and this crap is the most popular cable show on?...What kind of brain dead morons are watching this shit?