My Easter epiphany

[Boltlady]

This has nothing to do with the religious aspect of Easter. I don't even get into that one. It has to do with my aversion to major holidays in general and the commercialization of them.

It's well known that many people get depressed around holidays. I've been one of them and never really applied much thinking as to why that might be. This morning I recognized the reason. It goes all the way back to when I was struggling so hard as a single mother of 4 just to keep them fed, clothed and a roof over their heads. Back then there wasn't much that could be done when a deadbeat dad moved to another state. For 10 years I lived so close to the edge of disaster that holidays were almost the proverbial straw.

Because of the commercialization it's pretty much of a requirement to provide gifts for young children on Christmas, Easter, birthdays and others. When you have all you can do to make it from month to month those extra expenditures can be truly frightening. Even though it's been quite a few years now since I was in that particular boat, the effect of it all must have left some serious scars deep in my psyche.

Now that I can actually see what the problem has been perhaps the cloud will lift and I can go back to enjoying the holidays.

 

[Jen]

This has nothing to do with the religious aspect of Easter. I don't even get into that one. It has to do with my aversion to major holidays in general and the commercialization of them.

It's well known that many people get depressed around holidays. I've been one of them and never really applied much thinking as to why that might be. This morning I recognized the reason. It goes all the way back to when I was struggling so hard as a single mother of 4 just to keep them fed, clothed and a roof over their heads. Back then there wasn't much that could be done when a deadbeat dad moved to another state. For 10 years I lived so close to the edge of disaster that holidays were almost the proverbial straw.

Because of the commercialization it's pretty much of a requirement to provide gifts for young children on Christmas, Easter, birthdays and others. When you have all you can do to make it from month to month those extra expenditures can be truly frightening. Even though it's been quite a few years now since I was in that particular boat, the effect of it all must have left some serious scars deep in my psyche.

Now that I can actually see what the problem has been perhaps the cloud will lift and I can go back to enjoying the holidays.

Ya know..... you are right. When our kids were young, we were pretty poor. Yes, Daddy was there. But we made some choices that ensured that we would not have tons of money floating around. I stayed home to raise our little ones. Hubs left the Navy so that he wouldn't spend months on end away from his family and there were some pretty slim days during his transition. I dreaded those holidays where obligatory (and huge) gifts were looming and the scars are still there at least to some extent.

Lots of good life lessons can be learned from hardship. And I agree with you, Boltlady, these mandatory gift-giving holidays can leave scars.

 

[Max R.]

....Because of the commercialization it's pretty much of a requirement to provide gifts for young children on Christmas, Easter, birthdays and others. When you have all you can do to make it from month to month those extra expenditures can be truly frightening. Even though it's been quite a few years now since I was in that particular boat, the effect of it all must have left some serious scars deep in my psyche.....

While capitalism has provided the world with more wealth and a higher standard of living for more people than any other point in history. The downside is exactly as you pointed out; a highly materialistic society.

A basic tenet of Buddhism, and other philosophies, is to free oneself from desire, from want, from materialism.

People who think they'd be happy if they could just get that one promotion, buy that one particular car or date that one particular person will never be happy since, when the attain those things, they'll still want more. As you have found, letting go of that desire leads to a more blissful existence.

 

[Barbella]

While capitalism has provided the world with more wealth and a higher standard of living for more people than any other point in history. The downside is exactly as you pointed out; a highly materialistic society.

A basic tenet of Buddhism, and other philosophies, is to free oneself from desire, from want, from materialism.

People who think they'd be happy if they could just get that one promotion, buy that one particular car or date that one particular person will never be happy since, when the attain those things, they'll still want more. As you have found, letting go of that desire leads to a more blissful existence.

You are so right, Max... I learned that lesson a long time ago. My kids laugh and call me a 'minimalist' (if not a Hippie, LOL) because... well.... because I am, I guess. I never cared about material possessions, a bigger house, a fancier car, or any of the other trappings of modern society.

And believe me, I'm one of the most contented, happiest, most well-adjusted people you can imagine. Just ask me...

 

[fairsheet]

This has nothing to do with the religious aspect of Easter. I don't even get into that one. It has to do with my aversion to major holidays in general and the commercialization of them.

It's well known that many people get depressed around holidays. I've been one of them and never really applied much thinking as to why that might be. This morning I recognized the reason. It goes all the way back to when I was struggling so hard as a single mother of 4 just to keep them fed, clothed and a roof over their heads. Back then there wasn't much that could be done when a deadbeat dad moved to another state. For 10 years I lived so close to the edge of disaster that holidays were almost the proverbial straw.

Because of the commercialization it's pretty much of a requirement to provide gifts for young children on Christmas, Easter, birthdays and others. When you have all you can do to make it from month to month those extra expenditures can be truly frightening. Even though it's been quite a few years now since I was in that particular boat, the effect of it all must have left some serious scars deep in my psyche.

Now that I can actually see what the problem has been perhaps the cloud will lift and I can go back to enjoying the holidays.

We 6 kids were raised on a fixed income, by our widowed mother. She always made the biggest deal she could, out of the holidays. Of course at the time, for we kids, it was never quite good enough. In adult retrospect, I wonder how the hell she did it.

 

[Jen]

While capitalism has provided the world with more wealth and a higher standard of living for more people than any other point in history. The downside is exactly as you pointed out; a highly materialistic society.

A basic tenet of Buddhism, and other philosophies, is to free oneself from desire, from want, from materialism.

People who think they'd be happy if they could just get that one promotion, buy that one particular car or date that one particular person will never be happy since, when the attain those things, they'll still want more. As you have found, letting go of that desire leads to a more blissful existence.

I agree.
Give me the basic needs: shelter, a sweater, food..........and I'm happy as a clam. What I pray for is for my kids to be strong enough and happy.

 

[Boltlady]

We 6 kids were raised on a fixed income, by our widowed mother. She always made the biggest deal she could, out of the holidays. Of course at the time, for we kids, it was never quite good enough. In adult retrospect, I wonder how the hell she did it.

Kids rarely understand what is actually involved in their upbringing. That's one of the reasons why they always leave the lights on.

 

[fairsheet]

Kids rarely understand what is actually involved in their upbringing. That's one of the reasons why they always leave the lights on.

"Leave the lights on" is funny. We were raised to NEVER leave the lights on. After all, how hard is it to flip a switch? But, when I set to raising stepchildren by the same standard, that turned into a really big and "unfair" thing.

 

[Boltlady]

"Leave the lights on" is funny. We were raised to NEVER leave the lights on. After all, how hard is it to flip a switch? But, when I set to raising stepchildren by the same standard, that turned into a really big and "unfair" thing.

Years ago one of my customers made my day when he told me how he cured his son of leaving the lights on.

Seems that he had a narrow driveway and one evening when his son's car was parked behind his he asked the kid if he minded if he took his car to run up to the store so they wouldn't have to bother with switching them around. The kid tossed him the keys and away he went. When he came back he switched the car off but he left the lights on. He came in and the kid kept looking out the window and finally he said "you left the lights on".

Dad then said "oh did I?". He never had a problem after that.

 

[fairsheet]

Years ago one of my customers made my day when he told me how he cured his son of leaving the lights on.

Seems that he had a narrow driveway and one evening when his son's car was parked behind his he asked the kid if he minded if he took his car to run up to the store so they wouldn't have to bother with switching them around. The kid tossed him the keys and away he went. When he came back he switched the car off but he left the lights on. He came in and the kid kept looking out the window and finally he said "you left the lights on".

Dad then said "oh did I?". He never had a problem after that.

My parents would make us stop WHATEVER we were doing - and I mean whatever - to go back and turn off that light. That didn't go over well with my new bride and her kids! Hey, she still does it...but since she pays half the power bill, who am I to bitch?

Their "argument" was that since they were coming back......and that goes to my favorite teevee show..."The Mythbusters". Does it cost less to turn it off, or to leave it on? Well...it DOES cost less - in just one instance - fluorescent lights...but even in that instance, we're quite literally talking a millisecond!

 

[fairsheet]

My parents would make us stop WHATEVER we were doing - and I mean whatever - to go back and turn off that light. That didn't go over well with my new bride and her kids! Hey, she still does it...but since she pays half the power bill, who am I to bitch?

Their "argument" was that since they were coming back......and that goes to my favorite teevee show..."The Mythbusters". Does it cost less to turn it off, or to leave it on? Well...it DOES cost less - in just one instance - fluorescent lights...but even in that instance, we're quite literally talking a millisecond!

We live in the PNW where electric power isn't just guilt-free green, it's cheap. So...leaving a light on - seriously - represents fractions of cents. Nevertheless, I always thought of flipping off the light as something "you do", without thinking about it, parsing it, or trying to rationalize it one way or another. It's a "Life 101" thing. As I say though...my little family didn't always see it that way! Although....I notice my stepdaughter insists that her kids turn off lights when they leave the room!