as seen on tv
Senator
Former Florida governor Jeb Bush might run for President. This is not a joke – you can google it anywhere.
Jeb of course is the younger brother of Dubya, grandson of George Bush the elder, father of George Prescott Bush. In case you’re one of those worried we don’t have enough Bush’s with political ambition for the future, don’t forget we also have Dubya’s daughters, who might yet be hired as “reporters” by some right wing network as a springboard to public office, much as Chelsea Clinton was.
So . . . what have I got against Jeb – other than the fact that he’s perhaps too easily confused with Jeb Clampett, the Beverly Hillbilly, in the jeopardy category “rhymes with Reb”? Glad you asked . . . here’s my top 10 reasons
10 – He looks like a cross between William Windom and the Pillsbury doughboy portraying elder brother Dubya in a made for TV movie.
9 – Jeb spoke up early – and often – against Mitt Romney’s 2012 failed presidential campaign. But not about the lack of economic focus and viable solutions. He wanted more “outreach” to Florida latinos.
8 – Jeb’s own position on “undocumented workers” is “legalization” - but not a path to citizenship. This is sure to please no one – not latinos, and not hard right conservatives. Why is this even a campaign issue at this stage, with unemployment, the deficit, tax reform, and public schools in such obvious crises? (Hint - because Jeb is reactive, not a idea guy)
7 – Florida offers ample fodder for an opponent to point to crime, drug use, school dropout rates, foreclosures as examples of state level government failure – which although they didn’t start on Jeb’s watch, certainly weren’t cured on it either.
6 – Jeb’s college degree is in “latin american affairs”. I kid you not. What was he thinking? How about economics, public policy, or Law, Jeb . . . ?
5 – Jeb’s extensive business background includesincluding working for the Caracas Venezuela office of a Texas bank, a stint at a mobile phone company, board member of a Norwegian fire department equipment manufacturer, part owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, owner of Panamanian sneaker store, and a scheme to sell water pumps to Nigeria. Do you see a trend here – one that involves creation of domestic jobs at home? Neither do I. This guy is Romney incarnate, but about 5 levels down the ladder.
4 – Religious affiliation – catholic. This won’t hurt him among democrats of course. But again hard right republicans are naturally going to ask why he abandoned the faith of his fathers. (Ooh . . I know. Call on me professor. Um . .. it’s so he could marry his mexican born girlfriend without having her get excommunicated by the catholic church. That’s actually a plus in my book, despite the fact that I abandoned the faith of my fathers to worship no graven images at all)
3 – Bush oversaw more executions while Governor than any of his immediate predecessors or successor. He never commuted a sentence – not one. What branch of catholicism is this, Jeb?
2 – Current mojo – he sits on the board of Lehman Brothers (wall street) and Tenet Healthcare. Don’t ask why – there’s no rational reason, other than rubbing shoulders with other politically connected white males.
1– political dynasties always seem to get weaker the “deeper into the well” you go. Think Kennedy’s, the Daley’s, the Romney’s, the Gore’s, the Cuomos, the Biden’s, the Browns, the Udalls,
Full disclosure – I want a new candidate.
One that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that won't spill
One that don't cost too much
Or come in a pill
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that does what it should
One that won't make me feel too bad
One that won't make me feel too good
One with no doubt
One that won't make me talk too much
Or make my face break out
One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
