as seen on tv
Senator
Tennessee snow, earlier today.
Not shown - sunshine at Al Gore's California mansion
Dateline: December 23, Belle Meade, Tennesse. Al Gore's $5 million “historic” mansion is dark, and the former Veep cannot be found. Speculation runs rampant that he may have wandered outside during today's “Bomb Cyclone”, and become disoriented in the blowing snow.
Of course, snow isn't entirely unheard of in Tennessee. But according to the US government, the nation is experiencing a “once in a generation” deep freeze and storm this week. If you don't count the February 2021 storm which shut down Texas, knocked out power, and froze their wind turbines solid. That wasn't a “Bomb Cyclone” though. The 2021 storm was the result of “an unusual La Nina weather event”, from the Pacific Ocean. Damn that Pacific Ocean – it's caused trouble for me before. Bomb Cyclones like the one this week come from Canada, not the ocean.
In any case, we appear to be suffering under “once in a lifetime” storms every 2 or 3 years now.
Before we sound the death knell of Global Warming, however, let's check in with the rest of the world.
Moscow – began massive missile attacks on Ukraine power stations during record low temps several weeks ago, hoping to freeze the civilian population into surrender. And in April last year Russia recorded the lowest temp north of the equator ever – minus 106F degrees.
Sao Paulo Brazil – reached nearly record low temps of 40 degrees earlier this year. The previous record low was 32 in 1990
Paris – has already seen more days below freezing this month than in all of January and February combined.
Florida – falling temps mean falling iguanas. Invasive iguana lizards are expiring due to extreme cold, and dropping from trees. Presumably the 100,000 invasive burmese pythons are in trouble too. No word on the Geico gecko. Hope he's alright.
London – a bunch of zoo monkeys froze to death this month, because they weren't provided proper shelter from extreme cold. The rumor that UK zookeepers had overrun a pub to watch their soccer team lose a world cup match is entirely unfounded. Those monkeys would have frozen no matter what.
Saudi Arabia – temps dropped to 20 degrees last year. But it wasn't a record freeze. That was set in 2016 . ..
I COULD keep doing this all day, of course. But my Google “bomb cyclone” searches for December 2022 are pushed down the page by "sponsored' reminders that 2022 was predicted to be warmer than average.
Just not “once in a generation warmer”, I guess.
Bomb Cyclone. La Nina, El Nino. Los Pollos Hermanos. Arctic blast. Temperature Inversion. High pressure dome. Jet Stream. Canadian atmospheric river . .. pick your euphemism, America!
I miss the good old days, when we simply said “blizzard”, and then went outside to shovel the stuff. Rather than being gulled by media reports that every storm is “once in a generation”
Back to Al Gore. Found him! He actually was NEVER in Tennessee this month. At his “new” manse, near Santa Barbara, California. Just back from “COP27” in Egypt, where he told his followers not to lose heart – Global Warming will still happen, someday. Only the faithful will be saved.
The Cairo high temp that day was 70 degrees F. That's 6 degrees below average. But no snow, thank goodness.
Many thanks - to the thousands of utility workers on the move today, helping to restore power to the millions who lost it during the storm. You are heroes, for leaving your families during the holiday season to help strangers you don't even know. Al Gore - are you watching this?
