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Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail
 
Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
The sermon I think this Mom will never forget… This Sunday sermon, the minister began, 'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
 
Zam-Zam

Zam-Zam

Senator
Addy said:
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail
Click to expand...

My world in a nutshell.

The joy of getting on in years...
 
Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
THE REAL PURPOSE OF THE DOG TREAT

A man and his wife were going for a stroll one night when they spotted what was obviously a blind man taking a walk with his seeing eye dog.

“Look at that blind man taking a stroll just like us.” remarked the wife. They continued strolling when they heard the man let out a loud yelp.

The dog had walked him right into a parked car and he had banged his shin pretty hard.

Rushing over to help, they were surprised to see the man reach into his pocket and pull out a dog treat.

“Why are you giving him a treat after he ran you into that car?” questioned the husband.

“I ain't giving him a treat!” said the enraged man, “I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick him in the behind!”
 
Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
AN EMAIL TO THE WRONG PREACHER’S WIFE

A couple were going on a vacation to Miami together, but the wife had an emergency at work. So, they agreed the husband would go as planned and his wife would meet him at the hotel the next day.

When the husband got to his hotel and had checked in, he thought he should send his wife a quick email letting her know he’d gotten there OK.

As he typed in her email address, he made a typo and his email was sent to an elderly preacher’s wife instead. It just so happened that her husband had died just the day before.

When the grieving old preacher’s wife checked her emails, she read the one from the man, let out an awful, loud, piercing scream, and fainted on the floor.

At the sound of her falling, her family rushed into the room.

They tended to her and then looked at her computer and saw this email on Her screen: “Dearest Wife … just checked in to my room. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. It sure is hot down here.”
 
Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A ‘TEAM’ MEANS?

During a game, the coach called one of his seven-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a bad name.”

Do you understand all that?” Again, the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dummy’, is it?”

Again, the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
 
Addy

Addy

Rebuild With Biden!
An older couple was having memory problems and were easily distracted. The man usually woke up before his wife, fixed his breakfast and when his wife got up later, she fixed herself breakfast. The man went into the kitchen and put a coffee pod into the coffee maker.

He noticed it was the last pod, so he went to the pantry to get a new box and returned with a can of soup.

Next he picked up the bread, there was only one slice left so he put it in the toaster. He threw the wrapper away and planned to get another loaf when he went to the store. He placed the coffee and toast on the counter.

Normally he went outside to get the morning paper while waiting for the coffee and toast, then read it while eating breakfast. Realizing he hadn't gotten the paper, he went outside. He noticed someone had thrown a fast-food drink cup in his yard.

He went and picked it up and placed it in the garbage can.

He then went to pick up his paper and saw that all the neighbors had pushed their garbage cans to the curb. He placed the paper under his arm and pushed the garbage can to the street.

While he was outside, his wife went into the kitchen and saw the coffee and toast on the counter.

Since her husband wasn't around she thought he had made breakfast for her, so she ate the toast, drank the coffee, washed the plate and cup, and placed them in the dish drainer.

Her husband came in, laid the paper beside his chair, and went to the kitchen.

He saw the plate and cup in the drainer and concluded that he had already had breakfast.

He returned to his chair, saw the newspaper, and figured he had already read it.

His wife came in and thanked him for fixing her breakfast and asked if he was finished with the paper.

He replied “Yes, I am and you're welcome. Remind me to get milk when I go to the store.”
 
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