Funnies
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Addy
Rebuild With Biden!
WHO SAYS MEN DO NOT REMEMBER?
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed and as the wife walked through one of the stores she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was concerned so she called his mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."
He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar next door."
_____________________________
THIS LADY HAD A WONDERFUL DREAM
One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled: "The Meaning of Dreams."
* * *
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed and as the wife walked through one of the stores she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was concerned so she called his mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."
He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar next door."
_____________________________
THIS LADY HAD A WONDERFUL DREAM
One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled: "The Meaning of Dreams."
* * *
Addy
Rebuild With Biden!
JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE …
A man loved to play golf. It was the one activity he looked forward to every week.
One Saturday, he returned home from a scheduled four-some much earlier than his wife expected.
She asked him why he was home so early.
"Do you want to play golf with someone who whines about every shot, complains about everything on the course, and makes noises when you're trying to make an important shot?", he asked.
"No, I don't," answered his wife.
"Neither did they!"
* * *
A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE PERFECT MAN
I once heard the story of a pastor who was preaching the truth that no one is perfect.
To prove his point he asked for anyone who was perfect to stand up.
One man stood up in the middle of the congregation.
The pastor asked, "Do you really think you are perfect?"
The man replied, "Oh no! I'm not perfect. I'm standing up on behalf of my wife's first husband!"
* * *
A man loved to play golf. It was the one activity he looked forward to every week.
One Saturday, he returned home from a scheduled four-some much earlier than his wife expected.
She asked him why he was home so early.
"Do you want to play golf with someone who whines about every shot, complains about everything on the course, and makes noises when you're trying to make an important shot?", he asked.
"No, I don't," answered his wife.
"Neither did they!"
* * *
A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE PERFECT MAN
I once heard the story of a pastor who was preaching the truth that no one is perfect.
To prove his point he asked for anyone who was perfect to stand up.
One man stood up in the middle of the congregation.
The pastor asked, "Do you really think you are perfect?"
The man replied, "Oh no! I'm not perfect. I'm standing up on behalf of my wife's first husband!"
* * *
PNWest
America's BEST American: Impartial and Bipartisan
The AntiVaxx Tinies
A is for Abe who was preached at in church
B is for Bob, who did Facebook research
C is for Cody, expired on a vent
Dawn is his wife, on Gofundme for rent
E is for Eli who called others sheep
F is for FreedomMAGATrumpfan65, now six feet deep
G is for Guy whose prayer warriors failed him
H is for Herman, a Trump rally nailed him
I is for Ivy who thought masks were stupid
J is for Jake, claimed the stats were disputed
K is for Karen who hated all shots
L is for Les who was nervous of clots
M is for Mike who viewed facts with distaste
N is for Nick, overdosed on horse paste
O is for Olive whose blood remained 'pure'
P is for Pat who drank bleach as a cure
Q is for Q who was batshit insane
R is for Rod, just his children remain
S is for Sam, thought the vaccine would spike him
T is for Tex, proud the Dems didn't like him
U is for Una who hated Big Pharma
V is for Vera, rewarded by Karma
W is for William who fell for clickbait
X is for Xan who just wanted to wait
Y is for Yuri who spread Twitter fibs
Z is for Zak who died owning the libs
A is for Abe who was preached at in church
B is for Bob, who did Facebook research
C is for Cody, expired on a vent
Dawn is his wife, on Gofundme for rent
E is for Eli who called others sheep
F is for FreedomMAGATrumpfan65, now six feet deep
G is for Guy whose prayer warriors failed him
H is for Herman, a Trump rally nailed him
I is for Ivy who thought masks were stupid
J is for Jake, claimed the stats were disputed
K is for Karen who hated all shots
L is for Les who was nervous of clots
M is for Mike who viewed facts with distaste
N is for Nick, overdosed on horse paste
O is for Olive whose blood remained 'pure'
P is for Pat who drank bleach as a cure
Q is for Q who was batshit insane
R is for Rod, just his children remain
S is for Sam, thought the vaccine would spike him
T is for Tex, proud the Dems didn't like him
U is for Una who hated Big Pharma
V is for Vera, rewarded by Karma
W is for William who fell for clickbait
X is for Xan who just wanted to wait
Y is for Yuri who spread Twitter fibs
Z is for Zak who died owning the libs
