as seen on tv
Senator
On “Drudge” this morning, there is news that the IRS now requires additional information if you want to be tax exempt (something I’ve craved for years, actually). You are now required to supply “facebook posts, reading lists, and personal thoughts”. http://www.politico.com/story/2013/05/the-irs-wants-you-to-share-everything-91378.html
Ahem – facebook posts. I don’t actually have an account. I mean, I used to, but facebook is so yesterday. With all the potential employers now trolling your facebook accounts for embarrassing pictures, and requiring your password as a condition of employment, I decided to delete my account. Besides, isn’t something like 98% of facebook activity just advertising for Subway, Bike Line, and lame film remakes? Even general motors no longer uses facebook – their rationale is that dogs and kids don’t buy cars anyway. So sorry – no – I don’t have a facebook account, for real.
Reading lists – you’ve struck pay dirt. I subscribe to the Baltimore Sun, even though I know this is risky and they’re flirting with Bankruptcy and I won’t get my $14.95 quarterly fee back if they go under. Also the Washington Post, and the Wall Street Journal. And the Economist, but that’s a weekly. I’m reading “Far from the madding crowd” (Thomas Hardy) right now, but I got if for free as an Amazon download which actually means I feel a weird sense of non-urgency and am taking my time. I’ve also downloaded (again for free) but not started: “The Idiot “by Dostoyevsky; “Walden” (I had this in paperback but lost it); “Moon and Sixpence”; “The Golden Bough”; “Candide”; and “Ethics” by Aristotle. These are all completely free, because the authors died, so if you’re short on cash Mr. IRS man due to sequestration, you can get these for free and read them on your smartphone at work when nobody is looking.
I know what you really meant though – what books did I actually finish, which would make me a threat to the government. I’m not embarrassed – I’ll tell you: “The Selfish Gene” by Richard Dawkins (I’m devoutly secular). “Free to Choose” by Milton and Rose Friedman (I don’t think Rose had that big a role in writing it, though); “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac; “Catch 22” – (can you believe this guy was against World War 2? He must have been a commie!); “The Talmud” (and the Bible, and Siddhartha - I was for religion before I was against it, and returned my medals and ribbons); and “The Story of O” (just so you know).
You want my private thoughts, though? Well, is anything actually private anymore? I don’t think so. I post daily on Political Jack, which is almost like facebook except nobody pretends to be your friend or hits on you or puts racy personal pictures up. I’ve complained on PJ about the Obama administration – a lot. I complained about Bush when he was in office too. And taxes, and spending, and crime, and narcotics, and overfishing, and foreign dictators, and human rights abuses. I’ve posted in favor reproductive rights; ending the death penalty; gay marriage,; expanded school choice; licensing and insuring guns like cars; and polygamy (polyandry, actually. look it up)
If there’s anything else you want to know, just ask. I hereby formally request tax exempt status. I’m willing to wait my 5 years like everybody else you don’t approve of. Just so long as I’m treated fairly, and not sent to the back of the line over and over like they did to me in school.
And by the way – where’s my effing refund? I filed my taxes a month ago today. You owe me $968. That’s the equivalent of a month’s rent, but it’s going in Dani’s college fund instead. Pay up.
Full disclosure – as I said, I don’t have facebook account. But I’ll get one and “friend” you if it helps. How many friends do you actually have already? Not enough, I bet.
Full disclosure part 2 – when I put this through spell check it tried to change “Candide” to “candied”. But it knew about Siddhartha already. Go figure! What do you want to bet Bill Gates hasn’t read either of them, LOL?
