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Joke Time

Addy

Addy

Stand up for the people!
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.” :)
 
Husband Wife Jokes
Husband : Why did you give so much money to the beggar who was pretending to be blind?
Wife : Didn’t you hear his good words to me?
Husband : No, what did he say?
Wife : He said that I was so kind, so pretty and so young.
Husband : Oh, I see. He’s really blind. :)
 
A guy goes to see his doctor. After a lengthy battery of tests, the doctor says "Bill, I've got some bad news. You have cancer and Alzheimer's."

"Well, replied the fellow, at least I don't have cancer."
 
:) Funny one,, CB. Thanks for sharing.

Also sad too as more and more people are affected by this terrible illness.
 
Addy said:
:) Funny one,, CB. Thanks for sharing.

Also sad too as more and more people are affected by this terrible illness.
Click to expand...



I had an older teacher in college who SWORE that senility and Alzheimer's was caused by aluminum cans. Like beer and soda.

He might have been on to something...I think it has to be something in our food, water and air.
 
Corruptbuddha said:
I had an older teacher in college who SWORE that senility and Alzheimer's was caused by aluminum cans. Like beer and soda.

He might have been on to something...I think it has to be something in our food, water and air.
Click to expand...
I agree, CB.. It would seem only logical that whatever it causing it.. it is something all of us are exposed to or something we are ingesting that is so bad for us!!
 
NightSwimmer said:
Almost all of us are exposed to longer lifespans.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily true is it.. I have to think about that one..
Many of us do all the right things regarding healthy living and still are stricken with deadly and devastating illnesses..
 
:)
The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class. She called on her and said, 'Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'

Daphne quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
 
:)As the waitress entered the bar, the bartender demanded, "Why are you late?"

The waitress explained,"It was terrible. I was crossing the road, when I witnessed a dreadful accident. A guy was hit by a speeding car and he was lying there on the street, with his hands and skull fractured. he was a bloody mess. Thank God I had taken that first-aid course."

The bartender asked, "How did you handle it?"

She replied, "I sat on the ground and put my head between my knees so I would not faint!"
 
Addy said:
:)
The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class. She called on her and said, 'Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'

Daphne quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
Click to expand...


That girl is good at Math, I know 63 and 10 and 360 and 55!
 
Amazing read and an amazing life span for the man as well. Hard to comprehend exactly how many changes this man has seen evolve over his lifetime.
His life style & health habits should be valuable data for scientist re: a clinical case study.
 
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