Scientists FAIL to “crack the code” to happiness

[as seen on tv]

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2015/06/05/researchers-cracked-code-happiness/

Professor Frick (of the Simpsons) . . . move over. The Mayo clinic says money won’t make us happy, despite their own efforts to get us to donate more money to them. Rather, the Mayo's advice can be summed up into a single sentence:
Stop complaining: ““Complainers are never going to be happy . . . Happiness is a decision.” So there – just make up your mind to be happy, and stop thinking about things that bother you.

Don’t worry, be happy. And stop laughing – it’s true. Read the link above. Actually, keep laughing. I’m glad I made you happy. And it didn’t take me millions of dollars, and years of research.

The Mayo Clinic plans to publish “a pamphlet” telling people how to be happy. I’m sure this will someday be right up there with famous pamphlets such as “Common Sense” by Thomas Paine or “The Happy Negro” published in 1810. http://www.andrewwhitehead.net/political-pamphlets.html

Just think. If the Mayo pamphlet had been available years ago, then Picasso would never have had his “blue period”. Vincent Van Gogh would have had his sideburns trimmed instead of cutting off his ear. And Einstein would have written a treatise on the special relativity of austrian beer instead of inventing the atomic bomb.

But back to the Mayo clinic. Yes, I’m mocking them. Under the new PJ rules I imagine I should be banned or something for my gratuitious insults. Even if I’m right, and they’re wrong.

But this whole thing strikes me as a public relations stunt. Or some sort of test to see how gullible we are. Didn’t some guy in Mongolia last week cause trading to in Avon stock to be shut down by claiming he was about to buy the entire company for Billions? Perhaps instead we need a pamphlet called “How to stop being so gullible”. (If you crowdsource fund me, I promise to publish this and cut you in for a piece of the action, dudes and dudettes!)

In any case, I’d like to beat Mayo to the punch, and publish my own (top 10) list of what it takes to be happy. No charge – read below, it’s free. And it didn’t take me millions of dollars of federal tax dollars to figure it out either.

10 – Be Wealthy. Although its not a guarantee of happiness, it never hurts. Somebody is going to point out the odd case of the miserable billionaire. Or the happy pauper. Those are man bites dog stories. I guarantee you that if I won the Powerball lottery this week I’d put up a happy top post right after.

9 – Be healthy. I know why the Mayo clinic is branching into happiness pamphlets. Their previous series (“So you have cancer and are going to die a painful death . . . ”) was a complete downer. Now they can staple the happiness pamphlet to the cancer pamphlet. Bringing balance to the universe.

8 – Be stupid. I know you were thinking “Healthy, wealthy and wise”. But it doesn’t work that way. Ignorance is bliss. So is being rich – that makes you oblivious. Some entertainers fake their anger and axiety, to up the number of twitter followers. But really, being rich, beautiful and dumb . .. they couldn’t be happier.

7 – Have kids. Or don’t have them. It takes a special kind of person to raise a child. Obviously not the kind of parent who never checks on homework, or doesn’t know where her kids are during the Freddy Gray riots. It also takes a special kind of person to reach middle age, old age, and realize all that they’ve missed by not having kids, and not feel regrets. Either way, you can’t count on being happy all the time. If you want to be happy, buy a puppy. But they only live for a dozen years or so. You’ll need to get another eventually. (Full disclosure – our dog, Baron, will be 14 if he lives until august, and looks every bit of it. He’s 101 in human years. It’s heartbreaking).

6 – Don’t watch the TV news (or go to news websites). This may SOUND like “be stupid”, but its actually pretty smart. The prime time news is nothing but a film montage of war atrocities, plane crashes, riots, mystery murders, and then in the last 60 seconds some guy donates a swing set to the neighborhood playground, in memory of his recently departed dog. In between you’ll see commericals which make you wonder how many diseases there actually are, and if the side effects of those medicines might be worse than the disease. Who would willingly take a medicine that increases the chances of despression and suicide, after all?

5 – Be accomplished at something. Cooking. Writing. Fishing. Sex. Gardening. Dog training. Music. It almost doesn’t matter what. Something that reminds you that despite what you CANT do well, you still excel at this.

4 – Keep your space neat and orderly. But not obsessively so. Its sufficient that you can find the important things you need. Clutter oppresses the mind. I’ve seen those hoarders on TV. They seem like some of the most miserable people alive. They save everything because they’re overcompensating for the things they’ve lost, or never had.

3 – Eschew strong drink and narcotics. Sure, people who are passed out in a pub, or on the couch, or the front seat of their cars may SEEM happy. But that’s only until child protective services takes away their kids, or they’re arrested for possession with intent to distribute. Honestly, there are no long term happy addicts. Just ask Philip Seymour Hoffman.

2 – Be loved. People with s strong network of caring friends are happy. You know this is true. But to get there you also have to . . .

1 – Be more lovable, yourself. Wag more, bark less.

Baron (photo at top) - I’m so sad that you’re in such discomfort. I almost can’t bear it. But I made a promise that as long as you could walk, you could live. I’m keeping my promise . . .

 

[Max R.]

I tend to agree with the Mayo Clinic. Happiness is an attitude. The secret to happiness is contentment and the main cause of frustration and unhappiness is want.

Sure, we need a basic level of physical needs such as oxygen, water, food, shelter and human support (see Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs), but if someone has those things but wants more, they can become unhappy if unfulfilled.

I'm certain the Arab Spring wouldn't have happened when it did if 1) there wasn't an Internet to give the "Arab Street" a window the world and 2) they looked at what they had and wanted more like most Westerners have.

Several years ago during my psychology studies one research project revealed that a woman with a lot of sex partners wasn't as content with her husband as one who had very few. In that, ignorance is, indeed, bliss. However, even if her only sexual partner was her husband, if she isn't being satiated, then she'll feel something is missing even if she doesn't quite know what it is.

 

[as seen on tv]

I tend to agree with the Mayo Clinic. Happiness is an attitude. The secret to happiness is contentment and the main cause of frustration and unhappiness is want.

Sure, we need a basic level of physical needs such as oxygen, water, food, shelter and human support (see Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs), but if someone has those things but wants more, they can become unhappy if unfulfilled.

I'm certain the Arab Spring wouldn't have happened when it did if 1) there wasn't an Internet to give the "Arab Street" a window the world and 2) they looked at what they had and wanted more like most Westerners have.

Several years ago during my psychology studies one research project revealed that a woman with a lot of sex partners wasn't as content with her husband as one who had very few. In that, ignorance is, indeed, bliss. However, even if her only sexual partner was her husband, if she isn't being satiated, then she'll feel something is missing even if she doesn't quite know what it is.

buddhists also take this approach. "change comes from within". "nirvana". "yada yada".

actually, all religions preach self sacrifice now, paradise later. whether the reward is ascending to the heaven of jesus, or a paradise filled with 72 dark eyed virgins.

all roads lead to the same place. the goal of civilization is to persuade (or forcibly prevent) men from doing evil unto others until they arrive at that place.

 

[Max R.]

buddhists also take this approach. "change comes from within". "nirvana". "yada yada".

actually, all religions preach self sacrifice now, paradise later. whether the reward is ascending to the heaven of jesus, or a paradise filled with 72 dark eyed virgins.

all roads lead to the same place. the goal of civilization is to persuade (or forcibly prevent) men from doing evil unto others until they arrive at that place.

Some preach sacrifice now, paradise later. Some teach "buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy flight" or simply to appreciate the Now.

What, in your opinion, is "that place"?

 

[Jen]

View attachment 27324

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2015/06/05/researchers-cracked-code-happiness/

Professor Frick (of the Simpsons) . . . move over. The Mayo clinic says money won’t make us happy, despite their own efforts to get us to donate more money to them. Rather, the Mayo's advice can be summed up into a single sentence:
Stop complaining: ““Complainers are never going to be happy . . . Happiness is a decision.” So there – just make up your mind to be happy, and stop thinking about things that bother you.

Don’t worry, be happy. And stop laughing – it’s true. Read the link above. Actually, keep laughing. I’m glad I made you happy. And it didn’t take me millions of dollars, and years of research.

The Mayo Clinic plans to publish “a pamphlet” telling people how to be happy. I’m sure this will someday be right up there with famous pamphlets such as “Common Sense” by Thomas Paine or “The Happy Negro” published in 1810. http://www.andrewwhitehead.net/political-pamphlets.html

Just think. If the Mayo pamphlet had been available years ago, then Picasso would never have had his “blue period”. Vincent Van Gogh would have had his sideburns trimmed instead of cutting off his ear. And Einstein would have written a treatise on the special relativity of austrian beer instead of inventing the atomic bomb.

But back to the Mayo clinic. Yes, I’m mocking them. Under the new PJ rules I imagine I should be banned or something for my gratuitious insults. Even if I’m right, and they’re wrong.

But this whole thing strikes me as a public relations stunt. Or some sort of test to see how gullible we are. Didn’t some guy in Mongolia last week cause trading to in Avon stock to be shut down by claiming he was about to buy the entire company for Billions? Perhaps instead we need a pamphlet called “How to stop being so gullible”. (If you crowdsource fund me, I promise to publish this and cut you in for a piece of the action, dudes and dudettes!)

In any case, I’d like to beat Mayo to the punch, and publish my own (top 10) list of what it takes to be happy. No charge – read below, it’s free. And it didn’t take me millions of dollars of federal tax dollars to figure it out either.

10 – Be Wealthy. Although its not a guarantee of happiness, it never hurts. Somebody is going to point out the odd case of the miserable billionaire. Or the happy pauper. Those are man bites dog stories. I guarantee you that if I won the Powerball lottery this week I’d put up a happy top post right after.

9 – Be healthy. I know why the Mayo clinic is branching into happiness pamphlets. Their previous series (“So you have cancer and are going to die a painful death . . . ”) was a complete downer. Now they can staple the happiness pamphlet to the cancer pamphlet. Bringing balance to the universe.

8 – Be stupid. I know you were thinking “Healthy, wealthy and wise”. But it doesn’t work that way. Ignorance is bliss. So is being rich – that makes you oblivious. Some entertainers fake their anger and axiety, to up the number of twitter followers. But really, being rich, beautiful and dumb . .. they couldn’t be happier.

7 – Have kids. Or don’t have them. It takes a special kind of person to raise a child. Obviously not the kind of parent who never checks on homework, or doesn’t know where her kids are during the Freddy Gray riots. It also takes a special kind of person to reach middle age, old age, and realize all that they’ve missed by not having kids, and not feel regrets. Either way, you can’t count on being happy all the time. If you want to be happy, buy a puppy. But they only live for a dozen years or so. You’ll need to get another eventually. (Full disclosure – our dog, Baron, will be 14 if he lives until august, and looks every bit of it. He’s 101 in human years. It’s heartbreaking).

6 – Don’t watch the TV news (or go to news websites). This may SOUND like “be stupid”, but its actually pretty smart. The prime time news is nothing but a film montage of war atrocities, plane crashes, riots, mystery murders, and then in the last 60 seconds some guy donates a swing set to the neighborhood playground, in memory of his recently departed dog. In between you’ll see commericals which make you wonder how many diseases there actually are, and if the side effects of those medicines might be worse than the disease. Who would willingly take a medicine that increases the chances of despression and suicide, after all?

5 – Be accomplished at something. Cooking. Writing. Fishing. Sex. Gardening. Dog training. Music. It almost doesn’t matter what. Something that reminds you that despite what you CANT do well, you still excel at this.

4 – Keep your space neat and orderly. But not obsessively so. Its sufficient that you can find the important things you need. Clutter oppresses the mind. I’ve seen those hoarders on TV. They seem like some of the most miserable people alive. They save everything because they’re overcompensating for the things they’ve lost, or never had.

3 – Eschew strong drink and narcotics. Sure, people who are passed out in a pub, or on the couch, or the front seat of their cars may SEEM happy. But that’s only until child protective services takes away their kids, or they’re arrested for possession with intent to distribute. Honestly, there are no long term happy addicts. Just ask Philip Seymour Hoffman.

2 – Be loved. People with s strong network of caring friends are happy. You know this is true. But to get there you also have to . . .

1 – Be more lovable, yourself. Wag more, bark less.

Baron (photo at top) - I’m so sad that you’re in such discomfort. I almost can’t bear it. But I made a promise that as long as you could walk, you could live. I’m keeping my promise . . .

1. I am happier when I have enough money. Just enough. If I have too much (and that's happened a couple of times) I'm not happy and if I have too little I'm not happy. I want just enough.

2. Yes. I need to be loved. My husband is the only person alive that loves me unconditionally - my parents did but they are dead. My kids do but it's a different kind of love that counts but sort of doesn't.

3. I think I am pretty lovable. At least to the people I know in real life. There's nobody in my life I don't get along with.

4. Accomplishment. I can cook up a good meal or two. I can play the piano..... but don't do it much because my back will only allow one song at a time. I am good with animals. Animals love me. All of them do. Don't know why. They just do.

5. Stupidity. Yes. I have plenty of that.

 

[as seen on tv]

1. I am happier when I have enough money. Just enough. If I have too much (and that's happened a couple of times) I'm not happy and if I have too little I'm not happy. I want just enough.

2. Yes. I need to be loved. My husband is the only person alive that loves me unconditionally - my parents did but they are dead. My kids do but it's a different kind of love that counts but sort of doesn't.

3. I think I am pretty lovable. At least to the people I know in real life. There's nobody in my life I don't get along with.

4. Accomplishment. I can cook up a good meal or two. I can play the piano..... but don't do it much because my back will only allow one song at a time. I am good with animals. Animals love me. All of them do. Don't know why. They just do.

5. Stupidity. Yes. I have plenty of that.

You are indeed lucky. No one loves me unconditionally. And I suspect I have lost that capability myself.

 

[as seen on tv]

Some preach sacrifice now, paradise later. Some teach "buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy flight" or simply to appreciate the Now.

What, in your opinion, is "that place"?

As a secular person I reject the afterlife. No heaven or hell.

The only thing available after my passing is the memory of my family and friends of what I got right and wrong while helping them. The only heaven and hell are here and now, which we create moment by moment.

 

[Jen]

As a secular person I reject the afterlife. No heaven or hell.

The only thing available after my passing is the memory of my family and friends of what I got right and wrong while helping them. The only heaven and hell are here and now, which we create moment by moment.

I agree that we create our own heaven and/or hell.
I have always felt like a spiritual being.
What I reject is traditional, organized religion. I don't reject God.
A book like Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD takes a person out of the box orthodox religions put us in. Not suggesting you read it but I am suggesting you look on Amazon and see what others have said about it. I needed to get out of the box and imagine what God really is.

 

[Max R.]

As a secular person I reject the afterlife. No heaven or hell.

The only thing available after my passing is the memory of my family and friends of what I got right and wrong while helping them. The only heaven and hell are here and now, which we create moment by moment.

Your choice. There is no proof either way. If there is a post-mortal existence, I strongly doubt it involves white robes and harps or 72 virgins.

FWIW, I used to be an atheist but had a NDE at age 17. No, I didn't see Jesus, God or even any ancestors but it was an experience which left an indelible impression upon my mind. I attempted to replicate the experience with, umm, "altered states of consciousness" to no avail. Not a Bible thumper nor a believer in any dogmatic religion, although I think all have spiritual guidance contained within them. I've spent the past 42 years on a spiritual journey trying to understand the nature of the almighty power behind the Universe and the nature of existence.

 

[Max R.]

You are indeed lucky. No one loves me unconditionally. And I suspect I have lost that capability myself.

It's a matter of attitude, so nothing is lost. You always have a choice in how you feel.

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
― George Carlin

“Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.”
― Stephen Colbert

 

[Max R.]

1. I am happier when I have enough money. Just enough. If I have too much (and that's happened a couple of times) I'm not happy and if I have too little I'm not happy. I want just enough.

2. Yes. I need to be loved. My husband is the only person alive that loves me unconditionally - my parents did but they are dead. My kids do but it's a different kind of love that counts but sort of doesn't.

3. I think I am pretty lovable. At least to the people I know in real life. There's nobody in my life I don't get along with.

4. Accomplishment. I can cook up a good meal or two. I can play the piano..... but don't do it much because my back will only allow one song at a time. I am good with animals. Animals love me. All of them do. Don't know why. They just do.

5. Stupidity. Yes. I have plenty of that.

1. I've often joked "It's a good thing I'm not rich because I'd be a really big **shole with a really nasty cocaine habit".

2. My wife recently drove 5.5 hours to Houston (11 hours total) with her 35 year old daughter and 30 year old youngest son to attend the law school graduation of her 39 year old oldest son. It was a hugely memorable for her because of how they bonded. Yes, a mother tends to love their children unconditionally, but it doesn't always work in reverse. In this case, they really bonded as friends in addition to becoming family. I have a similar relationship with both my parents (both are in late 70s).

3. Yes you are! Me? Not so much.

4. I'm happy and have no regrets. Sure,it would have been great to be an astronaut, but I'm content to accept how things turned out.

5. Me too! although I am getting better at stepping in it.

 

[Jen]

buddhists also take this approach. "change comes from within". "nirvana". "yada yada".

actually, all religions preach self sacrifice now, paradise later. whether the reward is ascending to the heaven of jesus, or a paradise filled with 72 dark eyed virgins.

all roads lead to the same place. the goal of civilization is to persuade (or forcibly prevent) men from doing evil unto others until they arrive at that place.

There's nothing wrong with persuading people to not do evil to others. I think that self-sacrifice is more about looking out rather than in. I'm here to learn and the more I focus on others the more I learn about myself. The more I focus on myself the less I learn about anything. I don't know the purpose of knowledge, but I do feel compelled to seek it so it must be important.

 

[Jen]

1. I've often joked "It's a good thing I'm not rich because I'd be a really big **shole with a really nasty cocaine habit".

2. My wife recently drove 5.5 hours to Houston (11 hours total) with her 35 year old daughter and 30 year old youngest son to attend the law school graduation of her 39 year old oldest son. It was a hugely memorable for her because of how they bonded. Yes, a mother tends to love their children unconditionally, but it doesn't always work in reverse. In this case, they really bonded as friends in addition to becoming family. I have a similar relationship with both my parents (both are in late 70s).

3. Yes you are! Me? Not so much.

4. I'm happy and have no regrets. Sure,it would have been great to be an astronaut, but I'm content to accept how things turned out.

5. Me too! although I am getting better at stepping in it.

1. If I were really rich the responsibility would weigh heavily on me..... to take care of all that money the right way. I am highly introspective about stuff like that. I just wouldn't care for a life where I had to do that. Having not enough is miserable. So........... just enough is all I want.

2. Parent/child love goes down, not up. My children are part of me. I love them with every breath I take and I would lay down my life for them. If things are right, they would do the same not for me, but for their own children. It shouldn't work in reverse. We love our parents but in an entirely different way than they love us.

3. I barely know you but it seems like you are lovable enough.

4. I would tweak a few things were I to do this life over, but I've had an excellent life.

5.

 

[Mr. Friscus]

But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow.

Sounds like my first quests in romance

Sorry, I really couldn't resist.

 

[Max R.]

Sounds like my first quests in romance

Sorry, I really couldn't resist.

Getting to "Yes" was the ultimate goal of all 13 year old boys.

 

[Barbella]

Your choice. There is no proof either way. If there is a post-mortal existence, I strongly doubt it involves white robes and harps or 72 virgins.

FWIW, I used to be an atheist but had a NDE at age 17. No, I didn't see Jesus, God or even any ancestors but it was an experience which left an indelible impression upon my mind. I attempted to replicate the experience with, umm, "altered states of consciousness" to no avail. Not a Bible thumper nor a believer in any dogmatic religion, although I think all have spiritual guidance contained within them. I've spent the past 42 years on a spiritual journey trying to understand the nature of the almighty power behind the Universe and the nature of existence.

Like you, I had a NDE about 20 years ago... it was indescribably beautiful, loving, serene, and actually made me want to 'keep going'. Ever since, I'm not at all afraid of death, and better yet, I'm happy every single day of my life on this earth. It's hard to explain... but my faith in 'something after' is cemented firmly in every fiber of my being, and I'm able to appreciate and love life more than ever before.

I've stopped trying to understand it all, and am content in my faith that there's an almighty power watching out for me.

I figure when I get to Heaven, God and I will have a conversation where he'll explain it all.... Until then, 'I am where I'm supposed to be'.

 

[Max R.]

Like you, I had a NDE about 20 years ago... it was indescribably beautiful, loving, serene, and actually made me want to 'keep going'. Ever since, I'm not at all afraid of death, and better yet, I'm happy every single day of my life on this earth. It's hard to explain... but my faith in 'something after' is cemented firmly in every fiber of my being, and I'm able to appreciate and love life more than ever before.

I've stopped trying to understand it all, and am content in my faith that there's an almighty power watching out for me.

I figure when I get to Heaven, God and I will have a conversation where he'll explain it all.... Until then, 'I am where I'm supposed to be'.

Exactly. I've joked with my wife that I have a little bit of a death wish because I do want to go back, but, in reality, I'm content to wait knowing it's there waiting for me.

 

[as seen on tv]

Your choice. There is no proof either way. If there is a post-mortal existence, I strongly doubt it involves white robes and harps or 72 virgins.

FWIW, I used to be an atheist but had a NDE at age 17. No, I didn't see Jesus, God or even any ancestors but it was an experience which left an indelible impression upon my mind. I attempted to replicate the experience with, umm, "altered states of consciousness" to no avail. Not a Bible thumper nor a believer in any dogmatic religion, although I think all have spiritual guidance contained within them. I've spent the past 42 years on a spiritual journey trying to understand the nature of the almighty power behind the Universe and the nature of existence.

here's why i am skeptical about supreme beings

1. if god has a plan for each of us, then won't we be angering him with actions like curing cancer, persuading people to change religions, and arresting lawbreakers?
2. if you can't tell the difference between the actions of a despot (infanticide, genocide, tortures and cruelties straight out of biblical times), then isn't there a chance that god himself is some sort of heinous despot to be shunned?

 

[Max R.]

here's why i am skeptical about supreme beings

1. if god has a plan for each of us, then won't we be angering him with actions like curing cancer, persuading people to change religions, and arresting lawbreakers?
2. if you can't tell the difference between the actions of a despot (infanticide, genocide, tortures and cruelties straight out of biblical times), then isn't there a chance that god himself is some sort of heinous despot to be shunned?

1. Why would God be angry of curing cancer, seeking to learn about the Universe or trying to stop people from hurting each other?

2. You lost me. Despots are malicious. There's a difference between trying to help and trying to hurt.

 

[Addy]

Liked your post, asot, one of your best, imo. One of the biggest hinderances to being happy is waiting for someone else to make us happy... imo. That's too much of a burden for anyone to carry. Each of us have to be responsible for our own happiness. Just focusing on nothing bad happening at the moment... like imminent death or bad health for myself or for my family/close friends, that's enough to make me happy.

Good lines on your link.

“Complainers are never going to be happy,” Ketchian said. “Happiness is a decision.”
So why did the Mayo Clinic decide to study happiness? Studies show happier people are healthier people.