Gramps
Mayor
It’s that time again. Hadn’t talked to God lately so I dialed his number and, lo and behold, got him on the second ring.
“You again?” asks He.
“Yeah. Me again. When are you going to update your gear” I asked.
“The dial system is still performing for me,” says He. “It would be a waste of raw materials to replace something that’s still functional. That’s the trouble with you mortals. In your haste in the chase to taste the latest craze you could care less how much of Earth’s limited raw materials you squander.”
“If you say so.”
“I did.”
“Well, we’ve got lots of other problems that shroud that shortcoming”.
“Tell me!’
“I did.”
“Cute! Not funny. So, what’s on your demented mind seeing as you took time away from your worldly pleasures to contact your creator?”
“That!”
“What that?”
“Creator.”
“Okay, let’s hear it”.
“Well to be more precise the creation”.
“What about it?”
“Just this. Why, if as everyone here claims, you created everything did you screw-up by giving different skin colors to the various races of man?”
“It was all in six day’s work.”
“Cute. But not funny and not an answer”.
“What’s the diff?”
“That is the diff. I mean, those differences seem to make quite a difference”.
“So?’
‘Don’t you pay any attention to what’s going on down here?”
‘Only when someone rings my bell as you so often do”.
“You are aware we have a black skinned president of our country, aren’t you?”
“Of course!”
“Don’t you get it? If everyone had white skin we wouldn’t be wrapped-up in this caustic squabble that hamstrings our government”.
“Why white skin?”
“Okay, any single skin color”.
“Your racist slip is showing”.
“My bad”.
“Do you mean to tell me you called me for such a benign purpose?”
“Benign?”
“Yes. It’s not an issue from where I’m viewing the mess mankind has made of a perfect world”.
“Is that so?”
“Yes, indeed. You and your ilk are the problem with those highfaluting obsessions about political persuasions. I shouldn’t be surprised at anything after what took place in the Garden of Eden. Yes, I suppose one could say I screwed up by first creating Adam and then compounded the problems with conjuring-up Eve to give him a companion. Not my brightest venture but like all new creations it takes time to iron out the wrinkles”.
“Still ironing, huh?”
“Creating humans was a longshot. I pressed my luck too far. The garden was a masterpiece of perfection. Even a god has to know His limitations.”
“Kind’a like some folks I know”.
“Yes. Henry Ford is an excellent example. He revolutionized transportation then a few years later his company introduced the Edsel”.
“Chuckle. Hmmmm! I guess you do pay attention to what goes on down here”.
“Let me show you how much I do. Remember years ago when your doctor sent you to get a brain scan at the hospital?”
“Oh, yeah!”
“Did he ever tell you what purpose it served?”
“Can’t say he did. Why?”
“He didn’t tell you because I told him not to. I had it done. If he’d told you you’d have thought he was nuts”.
“YOU? Really? I guess you do keep a scorecard on my runs, hits and errors. But, why the brain scan?”
“You had me puzzled. I couldn’t quite comprehend how anyone could be as dumb as you and still have a brain. It was research”.
“Cute. Not funny!”
“Got’ta go. Another line is ringing. Some guy in Washington name of Boehner is screaming to high heaven about possible candidates for 2016”.
“Boehner? You mean the real Boehner?”
“Like you, he’s wasting his and my time. I’ll get rid of him by simply saying ‘I wash my hands mit political campaigns”.
“Say again!”
“I wash my hands mit political campaigns”.
“Hmmm. Mitt, huh? Thanks for the tip. Got’ta go myself and get some dough down on Mitt with the Las Vegas brokers. They’re hurting over the Super Bowl fiasco and will be tickled to cover my wager on Mitt running again”.
“Godspeed! Hello, Boehner? What’s on your demented mind today?”
Gramps
“You again?” asks He.
“Yeah. Me again. When are you going to update your gear” I asked.
“The dial system is still performing for me,” says He. “It would be a waste of raw materials to replace something that’s still functional. That’s the trouble with you mortals. In your haste in the chase to taste the latest craze you could care less how much of Earth’s limited raw materials you squander.”
“If you say so.”
“I did.”
“Well, we’ve got lots of other problems that shroud that shortcoming”.
“Tell me!’
“I did.”
“Cute! Not funny. So, what’s on your demented mind seeing as you took time away from your worldly pleasures to contact your creator?”
“That!”
“What that?”
“Creator.”
“Okay, let’s hear it”.
“Well to be more precise the creation”.
“What about it?”
“Just this. Why, if as everyone here claims, you created everything did you screw-up by giving different skin colors to the various races of man?”
“It was all in six day’s work.”
“Cute. But not funny and not an answer”.
“What’s the diff?”
“That is the diff. I mean, those differences seem to make quite a difference”.
“So?’
‘Don’t you pay any attention to what’s going on down here?”
‘Only when someone rings my bell as you so often do”.
“You are aware we have a black skinned president of our country, aren’t you?”
“Of course!”
“Don’t you get it? If everyone had white skin we wouldn’t be wrapped-up in this caustic squabble that hamstrings our government”.
“Why white skin?”
“Okay, any single skin color”.
“Your racist slip is showing”.
“My bad”.
“Do you mean to tell me you called me for such a benign purpose?”
“Benign?”
“Yes. It’s not an issue from where I’m viewing the mess mankind has made of a perfect world”.
“Is that so?”
“Yes, indeed. You and your ilk are the problem with those highfaluting obsessions about political persuasions. I shouldn’t be surprised at anything after what took place in the Garden of Eden. Yes, I suppose one could say I screwed up by first creating Adam and then compounded the problems with conjuring-up Eve to give him a companion. Not my brightest venture but like all new creations it takes time to iron out the wrinkles”.
“Still ironing, huh?”
“Creating humans was a longshot. I pressed my luck too far. The garden was a masterpiece of perfection. Even a god has to know His limitations.”
“Kind’a like some folks I know”.
“Yes. Henry Ford is an excellent example. He revolutionized transportation then a few years later his company introduced the Edsel”.
“Chuckle. Hmmmm! I guess you do pay attention to what goes on down here”.
“Let me show you how much I do. Remember years ago when your doctor sent you to get a brain scan at the hospital?”
“Oh, yeah!”
“Did he ever tell you what purpose it served?”
“Can’t say he did. Why?”
“He didn’t tell you because I told him not to. I had it done. If he’d told you you’d have thought he was nuts”.
“YOU? Really? I guess you do keep a scorecard on my runs, hits and errors. But, why the brain scan?”
“You had me puzzled. I couldn’t quite comprehend how anyone could be as dumb as you and still have a brain. It was research”.
“Cute. Not funny!”
“Got’ta go. Another line is ringing. Some guy in Washington name of Boehner is screaming to high heaven about possible candidates for 2016”.
“Boehner? You mean the real Boehner?”
“Like you, he’s wasting his and my time. I’ll get rid of him by simply saying ‘I wash my hands mit political campaigns”.
“Say again!”
“I wash my hands mit political campaigns”.
“Hmmm. Mitt, huh? Thanks for the tip. Got’ta go myself and get some dough down on Mitt with the Las Vegas brokers. They’re hurting over the Super Bowl fiasco and will be tickled to cover my wager on Mitt running again”.
“Godspeed! Hello, Boehner? What’s on your demented mind today?”
Gramps
