True gender equality

[connieb]

http://abc7.com/news/1-of-2-women-arrested-in-twerking-assault/1079295/

So, this has been pretty big local news and big on social media.

But, I have to say as a woman - YES - I am glad that this guy actually pressed charges. If the victim in this case was a woman, the howling and screeching until something was done about this person would be deafening. And, instead, this poor guy is being picked on for going to the police. Double standard much? If we are going to say its hands off and in many cases practically looking at a woman the wrong way is sexual harassment, then certainly groping and twerking on a guy is as well.

connie

 

[connieb]

bump

 

[RickWA]

bump

I don't think I'd press charges in such a case, but I acknowledge this guy's proper right to do so. That's just a weird, weird story. I'd have probably simply said "get off me" and walked away.

 

[connieb]

I don't think I'd press charges in such a case, but I acknowledge this guy's proper right to do so. That's just a weird, weird story. I'd have probably simply said "get off me" and walked away.

I don't know that I would either. But, then women are groped on busses and other places and are encouraged to press charges. So why wouldn't we encourage a man to press charges. OR should we also not be encouraing women?

My opinion is basically there isn't a woman who went to college and did some bar hopping who wasn't groped over their clothes at some point by a stranger. In my opinion, it hardly rises to actionable sexual assault unless there are some extenuating circumstances like an enclosed space or an unequal relationship - i.e a cop or an authority figure. Now skin on skin, different animal.

connie

 

[RickWA]

I don't know that I would either. But, then women are groped on busses and other places and are encouraged to press charges. So why wouldn't we encourage a man to press charges. OR should we also not be encouraing women?

My opinion is basically there isn't a woman who went to college and did some bar hopping who wasn't groped over their clothes at some point by a stranger. In my opinion, it hardly rises to actionable sexual assault unless there are some extenuating circumstances like an enclosed space or an unequal relationship - i.e a cop or an authority figure. Now skin on skin, different animal.

connie

I'm not hesitant in the least to admit that I hold to a bit of a double standard here. Part of my reaction goes to this. I tend to think men need to suck it up - and not moan about things. Part of it, though, also owes to the threat posed. Women being groped by pigs in bars can actually be at risk of harm in addition to the degradation itself. A man being "twerked" on by a skinny woman is primarily subject to annoyance and embarrassment.

That's why I say that I think I would just order her away and then move along. Must be my English upbringing. Don't emote, don't whine, just handle life...

 

[marvin martian]

I'm not hesitant in the least to admit that I hold to a bit of a double standard here. Part of my reaction goes to this. I tend to think men need to suck it up - and not moan about things. Part of it, though, also owes to the threat posed. Women being groped by pigs in bars can actually be at risk of harm in addition to the degradation itself. A man being "twerked" on by a skinny woman is primarily subject to annoyance and embarrassment.

That's why I say that I think I would just order her away and then move along. Must be my English upbringing. Don't emote, don't whine, just handle life...

Women need to be more careful. There are disgusting people like this out there in the world:

Because those Swedish girls are just too, TOO hot for their own good. Look:
I mean, hell, I'd rape that, and I'm sixty years old!
[Actually, BitterPill had a better explanation than mine. But my post has the better photo.]

 

[RickWA]

Women need to be more careful. There are disgusting people like this out there in the world:

LOL! I'm sure LeRoy didn't mean actual "rape", but that he'd be all over those women. People aren't careful about how they speak/write around here...

 

[as seen on tv]

cant we all just twerk along? I mean, no guys are complaining when it's miley cyrus.

 

[Arkady]

http://abc7.com/news/1-of-2-women-arrested-in-twerking-assault/1079295/

So, this has been pretty big local news and big on social media.

But, I have to say as a woman - YES - I am glad that this guy actually pressed charges. If the victim in this case was a woman, the howling and screeching until something was done about this person would be deafening. And, instead, this poor guy is being picked on for going to the police. Double standard much? If we are going to say its hands off and in many cases practically looking at a woman the wrong way is sexual harassment, then certainly groping and twerking on a guy is as well.

connie

I've experienced this first-hand. Back when I was still young and good looking, I had a job where one of my female coworkers had a bad habit of patting and pinching my rump flirtatiously. She was older and more established and I didn't want to make waves, so I kept my mouth shut. But I'm a bit "tactile defensive" so it definitely bugged me to have my personal space invaded that way. But, even so, I guess I have to stand up for the double-standard here. Although I consider unwanted touching to be a problem in both directions, I see good reason for treating it as a bigger problem in the male-to-female direction than vice versa, at least when it comes to typical able-bodied adults. Men are generally physically stronger than women, so the unwanted touching doesn't come with the same implicit threat that it could be escalated if physically resisted. I may have been a bit uncomfortable, but I knew that if at any point I was willing to risk the social awkwardness and possible job consequences, I could have stopped things cold, since she lacked the power to force herself on me. Knowing that my physical power put me in as much control as I wanted to have, made a big psychological difference.

 

[connieb]

I'm not hesitant in the least to admit that I hold to a bit of a double standard here. Part of my reaction goes to this. I tend to think men need to suck it up - and not moan about things. Part of it, though, also owes to the threat posed. Women being groped by pigs in bars can actually be at risk of harm in addition to the degradation itself. A man being "twerked" on by a skinny woman is primarily subject to annoyance and embarrassment.

That's why I say that I think I would just order her away and then move along. Must be my English upbringing. Don't emote, don't whine, just handle life...

Well, when I was saying about being groped I meant some dude copping a feel as you squeeze by, etc. That is entirely different than say a guy cornering you on your way too or from the restroom. Which certain ratchets up the scariness of the encouter. Otherwise, hell you wouldn't even necessarily know who was the one to cop a feel and there was certainly no actual physical danger in that brief contact.

I guess as a woman - I don't want any special consideration, even when it comes to my safety, from laws. I have known men who were abused by their women, hit, kicked punched, you name it. And, yet they didn't speak out because their perception of the backlash, like this guy got here.

connie

 

[connieb]

I've experienced this first-hand. Back when I was still young and good looking, I had a job where one of my female coworkers had a bad habit of patting and pinching my rump flirtatiously. She was older and more established and I didn't want to make waves, so I kept my mouth shut. But I'm a bit "tactile defensive" so it definitely bugged me to have my personal space invaded that way. But, even so, I guess I have to stand up for the double-standard here. Although I consider unwanted touching to be a problem in both direction, I see good reason for treating it as a bigger problem in the male-to-female direction than vice versa, at least when it comes to typical able-bodied adults. Men are generally physically stronger than women, so the unwanted touching doesn't come with the same implicit threat that it could be escalated if physically resisted. I may have been a bit uncomfortable, but I knew that if at any point I was willing to risk the social awkwardness and possible job consequences, I could have stopped things cold, since she lacked the power to force herself on me. Knowing that, ultimately, my physical power put me in as much control as I wanted to have, made a big difference.

I certainly think that there is a difference to consider when the other party just can't simply walk away. For instance, it is certainly more intimidating when it is a man who would be cornering a woman. But, in this sceario, even if the roles were reversed a woman could have just as easily stepped away as the guy could have done.

I guess as a mom of a boy. I object this double standard that men are the sexual agressors and that when boys touch girls when they don't want to - that it is somehow worse than when girls touch boys who don't want it.

connie

 

[Arkady]

I certainly think that there is a difference to consider when the other party just can't simply walk away. For instance, it is certainly more intimidating when it is a man who would be cornering a woman. But, in this sceario, even if the roles were reversed a woman could have just as easily stepped away as the guy could have done.

I guess as a mom of a boy. I object this double standard that men are the sexual agressors and that when boys touch girls when they don't want to - that it is somehow worse than when girls touch boys who don't want it.

connie

I'm ambivalent about it. I guess I'd come down in favor of a double standard but a weak one -- not excusing the girl-on-boy unwanted behavior, but also acknowledging the higher stakes when it's the other direction.

 

[connieb]

I'm ambivalent about it. I guess I'd come down in favor of a double standard but a weak one -- not excusing the girl-on-boy unwanted behavior, but also acknowledging the higher stakes when it's the other direction.

I think my objection to the double standard is really about the objection to dismissal of woman as sexual aggressor. Ultimately, when a woman alleges sexual assault, she is most often believed and championed. And, the guy is vilified even when it is later found out that he wasn't the aggressor. I think it is important to make sure we recognize that women can also and maybe even often be the sexual aggressors.

connie