Thoughts?

[Hummingbirdlvr3]

Do you really think the parents knew? If they did and did nothing, then they are complicit. And you are incorrect that the girls wouldn't be bullies if their parents were good parents. That is an overgeneralization, do you know everything your children do?

No, I am correct that a good parent instills certain values that their children learn, and emulate. Bullying is certainly not one of them. You seem like you like to generalize, and give parents of bullies a pass.

 

[connieb]

There are laws on the books right now that guarantee adults the right to a hostility free workplace. And what this means is that we can expect to work free of personal insults, ethnic slurs, harassment of any kind. These are the laws partly responsible for the fact that women in the workforce today don't have to put up with
comments about their bodies, their sex lives, their looks, crude invitations, etc.....These laws also guarantee gay adults the right to work without being tormented for being gay. What's more, when someone brings a case against a coworker for sexual harassment, the accused is the one bearing the burden of proof. I doubt any adult here would be willing to give up the right to a hostility free environment. And why did these laws come about? Because people were just too thin skinned to deal with the occasional idiot at work? Because people weren't raised to have confidence in themselves and with the ability to quickly compartmentalize the cruelty of others before their feelings were affected?
No.
These laws came about because discriminatory behavior and behavior that impacted the victim's productivity, safety, and psychological health needed to be stopped. When it came to protecting adults, the case law went all the way up to the SCOTUS, with plenty of support.

But when it comes to kids facing the exact same kind of cruelty, we don't want anymore laws? It goes without saying-but I'll say it anyway!-children are not equipped with the rationale and harder shell adults are. Nor do they have the autonomy adults have. Rebecca's parents couldn't get any help from school or law enforcement so they switched schools. But the wackos who were intent on destroying her made sure to find her and destroy even that schoole experience. It's pathological.
Yet we adults insist on strong protections against the things our kids are having to face unprotected. Imagine if we handled workplace complaints of harassment(including sexual harassment) along with pushing, shoving, vandalism, like they do in schools nowadays. Imagine having to go to work everyday and deal with being called a whore or a fag, or knowing that a group of your coworkers have decided to start an all out rumor campaign about you? Imagine hearing "You should die" coming from the person in the desk next to you, over and over.

Who would be willing to put up with the torment while anti-harassment policies were slowly examined, while the guilty were analyzed and counseled, while different avenues meant to gently convince the guilty away from their offensive behavior were tried out over the course of months or years? It's unthinkable to most of us because we've enjoyed protections. But when it comes to kids we're gonna place the responsibility for how they react to cruelty solely on the parents?

Well, in all fairness Gigi... you know I don't support those kind of laws, either. I think they are over-used and quite honestly we don't have the "right" to a hostility free anything... life is hostile. People are azzholes. Its life.

connie

 

[Renee]

No, I am correct that a good parent instills certain values that their children learn, and emulate. Bullying is certainly not one of them. You seem like you like to generalize, and give parents of bullies a pass.

I think some of the values some parents here instill in their kids are awful..so I guess we have to ask who defines good values. I don't think I have met a parent who wants their kids to be bullies. "Yes, Johnny, go out and be a bully" You accuse me of generalizing....I think you overgeneralize, and why the hell you would say I give parents of bullies a pass is ridiculous. I have said that if a parent knows his child is bullying, then he is complicit and should be chastised. Many parents don't know how their kids are acting in school....and it is a fact that good parents can have awful kids, and awful,parents can have great kids..saying that good parents will have good kids is a huge overgeneralization. Seems like you're looking for an argument from me and I don't know why.

 

[gigi]

Well, in all fairness Gigi... you know I don't support those kind of laws, either. I think they are over-used and quite honestly we don't have the "right" to a hostility free anything... life is hostile. People are azzholes. Its life.

connie

So what do you do if someone at work threatens you or makes such a distraction of himself or herself that your work suffers and your nerves become shot?

I used to have a supervisor that used to make all kinds of cracks about my ethnicity. I needed that paycheck. I couldn't just up and leave. There was no rainy day fund. I did eventually get out of there, but while I was looking for another job, the laws I had on my side brought me relief from her nonsense. And.....some real pleasure in seeing her get her ass handed to her for her nastiness.

 

[gigi]

It doesn't have to, adults can compartmentalize their lives, we are programmed to do so.
We multi task and use our abilities to address different situations at different times, This is part of the negotiation skills learned as children, just as children learn to negotiate thru doll playing and other forms of play, we learn and use these skills to separate the wheat of information from the chaff of information overload.

The tormenting of this girl speaks to a higher issue, and that would be where the freedom of speech overspills into abusive behavior and lack of self control. The girl in question did not have the control to separate the wheat from the chaff, she was most likely too young. We don't realize it, but children are pushed into taking the next step in their development sometimes without thought given to the consequences.

Group think, while it's pleasing and secure to some, can be dangerous in situations like this, if you don't know enough to look at the horizon on a boat, the volume of waves can lead you to become physically ill; Group think and this is a form of communication among young people can become a barometer for an insecure person to use to gage their own self worth.

Teaching children self worth while maintaining the values of character and good fellowship are not necessarily diametrically opposed ideals; a strong sense of self can keep a child from judging their own self worth when the specter of group think gone awry presents itself.

The net, like I said, is still a developing entity, just like any other form of communication. I would argue that there should be some kind of training for kids to use the net in a safe and secure manner.

But it starts at home, if parents aren't vigilant in instilling a sense of worth in their children, while maintaining the right level of humility, then people produce destructive children, who will destroy others or destroy themselves.

Regards
Pace

Pace I've seen it with my own kids and I remember going through it myself as a teen...
Kids get to an age where they begin to question everything they're taught, and they do toss off, often temporarily, a good number of the truths their parents taught them about everything, including themselves. And as much as they flourish in a loving home environment, they will start to take their peers opinions and judgements to heart. I think insecurity goes with the territory of adolescence.

 

[PACE]

Pace I've seen it with my own kids and I remember going through it myself as a teen...
Kids get to an age where they begin to question everything they're taught, and they do toss off, often temporarily, a good number of the truths their parents taught them about everything, including themselves. And as much as they flourish in a loving home environment, they will start to take their peers opinions and judgements to heart. I think insecurity goes with the territory of adolescence.

Hi gigi: of course children test the boundaries, this is why babies drop food from their high chairs, they are ABSOLUTELY fascinated with gravity, and they do this over and over again, just to make sure gravity is still working. They "know" gravity without knowing truly what it is, that comes later.

Children will question their teachings, and they will go thru a period of assimilation, they may come to the conclusion that the values taught are indeed the right ones, that's the real test of whether or not a parent is turning the wheel correctly.

But with regards to peer pressure, while it's there and it's real, the sense of self I speak about, in the end, will bolster a child thru rough times.

What I am speaking of is an instillation of letting a child realize they are a individual, and sometimes, an individual isn't 24/7 popular, that does not mean the individual is deserving of a shunned existence.

I always told my daughter, if you can count really good friends on two fingers, you are one of the luckiest people on God's good earth. I also told her, "be proud of your mistakes, learn from them, because when you succeed, everyone will crowd around you and claim some kind of ownership "I always knew you could do it!". it is the most sincere form of flattery to the other person. But when you make a mistake, everyone will have been on vacation, and didn't get the message. Don't be surprised if that happens. But know this, it's easy for people to love you when times are good, it's a measure of real character of those who love when times are no so great.

I have always loved my daughter thru these times, she knows it, and she knows her own self. It's been a wonderment for her, as she came thru her teenage years demeaning the fact that she was not a "twitter" fan, nor did she know what the Kardashians were doing, or how about that "Theresa" on New Jersey housewives or whatever that show was.

She was called a geek, a freak, a weirdo, because she did know the names of the Kardashians. BUT, she came home and laughed about it. She would laugh like hell at the whole scene. I too, have seen this in dinner conversation, talk about history or art, or literature, and some one at the table will eventually say "thanks for the lesson, teach".

The truth is? to "me" art, literature and history are interesting, there are some very weird "facts" to be found. For my daughter, marine life, science, math and music are interesting, and those that do not find these subjects interesting, she finds "boring"

Now how about that? to me, that's the ultimate in self awareness, I can be kind and generous, but if admonished for my love of subjects that do not tie into the normal discourse of polite conversation, in other words, cookie cutter knowledge, well, I am just not interested.

It really starts with a foundation or a model of self awareness.

Regards
Pace

 

[PACE]

So what do you do if someone at work threatens you or makes such a distraction of himself or herself that your work suffers and your nerves become shot?

I used to have a supervisor that used to make all kinds of cracks about my ethnicity. I needed that paycheck. I couldn't just up and leave. There was no rainy day fund. I did eventually get out of there, but while I was looking for another job, the laws I had on my side brought me relief from her nonsense. And.....some real pleasure in seeing her get her ass handed to her for her nastiness.

No one should be subjected to this in the workplace, while people may confuse their personal beliefs with the employment and the contract they agree to, the truth is this kind of behavior is counter productive; I remember working for some real titans, and during hard times, you couldn't tell from these people demeanors just how dire issues were, they maintained even keel and kept a team going. This is a sign of leadership.
Those that remain focused on goals and roadmaps, are usually the ones that succeed. What this supervisor did was succeed in making herself the goal. To me, individuals of this kind of mind set should not in positions of authority in any organization. You say it all, your motivation was to maintain financial health, that is the best deterent to the kind of abusiveness you were exposed to. But let me ask you question, with regards to your ethnicity, did it make really any bit of difference to you, personally? I would argue it didn't. It just served to distract from the work at hand. So it's a counterproductive situation, not a forum for free speech, or individual rights, not while you are working and on a clock.

Regards
Pace

 

[gigi]

No one should be subjected to this in the workplace, while people may confuse their personal beliefs with the employment and the contract they agree to, the truth is this kind of behavior is counter productive; I remember working for some real titans, and during hard times, you couldn't tell from these people demeanors just how dire issues were, they maintained even keel and kept a team going. This is a sign of leadership.
Those that remain focused on goals and roadmaps, are usually the ones that succeed. What this supervisor did was succeed in making herself the goal. To me, individuals of this kind of mind set should not in positions of authority in any organization. You say it all, your motivation was to maintain financial health, that is the best deterent to the kind of abusiveness you were exposed to. But let me ask you question, with regards to your ethnicity, did it make really any bit of difference to you, personally? I would argue it didn't. It just served to distract from the work at hand. So it's a counterproductive situation, not a forum for free speech, or individual rights, not while you are working and on a clock.

Regards
Pace

What my boss said and did didn't change my opinion of myself. But she made a situation I had to remain in for a time pretty hellacious. When someohe has personal pride in who they are and where they come from, it's hard to have to take crap from someone who's causing you so much anger and discomfort but enjoys it, and it's all the more fun for them because they know you have to take it.
You can sort of liken me being stuck in that job to the kid being stuck in a school or social environment where she's being bullied....with the same options I had: Deal with it and live with it, or don't go and bear the devastating personal costs. The one big difference is, as an adult, I had the freedom to search for another job, and I was an adult with a bit harder shell than a 12 year old.

I think you made a wonderful parent. It's hard raising kids to remain true to what turns them on in this society where vapid is celebrated. Sounds like you really did accomplish that.

 

[Renee]

And you accuse

So what do you do if someone at work threatens you or makes such a distraction of himself or herself that your work suffers and your nerves become shot?

I used to have a supervisor that used to make all kinds of cracks about my ethnicity. I needed that paycheck. I couldn't just up and leave. There was no rainy day fund. I did eventually get out of there, but while I was looking for another job, the laws I had on my side brought me relief from her nonsense. And.....some real pleasure in seeing her get her ass handed to her for her nastiness.

I used to have that with males who would rub my back or flatter me in sexual ways. It was hard but I would tell them I feel uncomfortable, but I was able to use humor. It's easy for people to tell you what should do....but I know sometimes it isn't easy. Like you, I found other jobs.

 

[Renee]

It is great to tell kids to try etc....one thing I discourage is telling kids they can be anything they want,,,,,it isn't true. Of course I am not telling them not to try, but I always want them to have a plan B. I couldn't tell Kids who flunked science repeatedly and who were slow, and wanted to be neurologists ..that it was a reality. I would tell them to try their best, but what other options are there? I see false praise and expectations as damaging as no praise and no expectations. Before I get jumped on, there is lots of gray.
The example I always use is wanting to be a rock star. My music teacher could have told me I can be one and I should go for auditions....or she could do what she did, tell me gently I was tone deaf. I was my daughters maid of honor and as a gift she bought me a karaoke machine. I'm still convinced it's broken because that horrible voice that comes out of it cannot be mine.

 

[PACE]

It is great to tell kids to try etc....one thing I discourage is telling kids they can be anything they want,,,,,it isn't true. Of course I am not telling them not to try, but I always want them to have a plan B. I couldn't tell Kids who flunked science repeatedly and who were slow, and wanted to be neurologists ..that it was a reality. I would tell them to try their best, but what other options are there? I see false praise and expectations as damaging as no praise and no expectations. Before I get jumped on, there is lots of gray.
The example I always use is wanting to be a rock star. My music teacher could have told me I can be one and I should go for auditions....or she could do what she did, tell me gently I was tone deaf. I was my daughters maid of honor and as a gift she bought me a karaoke machine. I'm still convinced it's broken because that horrible voice that comes out of it cannot be mine.

Accepting one's own talents with grace and courage is what it is all about Renee, with regards to my own experience, my daughter was a bookworm from a young age, and I think parents have the obligation to be very observant of their children's behaviours and potential. I remember my daughter who loved to pull all of her books out of the bookcase in her room when she was two, being exceptionally quiet one day, I peeked into to her room, expecting to see her sitting on top of her books, like I still do, just glancing from one book to another. Instead she was sitting by her window, in little plastic chair, watching a grasshopper that was perched on the screen, she was fascinated. I didn't interrupt. For two hours, she stayed focus on this grasshopper.

Both her father and I are in the field of science, we both understand this kind of concentration. I knew at that moment she was bound to something of a scientific nature, in the natural world.

Today, she is seeking her BS in Marine Biology, she's done research in Central America, taught at UConn's marine center in Groton Connecticut. She's now raising lemon sharks in her lab at school, studying the fluid dynamics associated with the surface roughness of their skin.

She will be traveling to Italy this summer and the next, to study a particular kind of marine reptile that has been adapting in Kansas to a different environment, in prep for this she is now studying these displaced reptiles in another lab at school. She has photographed amazing sea life, written about them, and has decided her higher degree will be in the field of conservation.

Now, for the record her parent didn't do so badly in the world of science, but we took a different tack. My only wish for my daughter is to be healthy and happy, she does not have to make "squadds of money", I told her, a backpack, a cheese sandwich, a good book, and a sturdy pair of boots is all you need.

I did that when I was young, and saw Europe and parts of the Middle East.

She sees the benefit in this, she can choose to be a housewife with a huge mcmansion and two SUVS in the driveway, as long as she is happy.

But I can tell you this, studying amazing things in the natural world have made this young woman happier than anything else in her life.

And to think my own mother would admonish me when I took her in the shower at the age of three months just so she would get used to water on her face!

I have a mermaid in my life.

Regards
Pace

 

[PACE]

What my boss said and did didn't change my opinion of myself. But she made a situation I had to remain in for a time pretty hellacious. When someohe has personal pride in who they are and where they come from, it's hard to have to take crap from someone who's causing you so much anger and discomfort but enjoys it, and it's all the more fun for them because they know you have to take it.
You can sort of liken me being stuck in that job to the kid being stuck in a school or social environment where she's being bullied....with the same options I had: Deal with it and live with it, or don't go and bear the devastating personal costs. The one big difference is, as an adult, I had the freedom to search for another job, and I was an adult with a bit harder shell than a 12 year old.

I think you made a wonderful parent. It's hard raising kids to remain true to what turns them on in this society where vapid is celebrated. Sounds like you really did accomplish that.

You know? I don't think I was every more happy, than when I was a student, working during the day, eating cheese and tomato sandwiches every night for dinner. Peanut butter out of the jar on a butter knife was my favorite sin.

I had about two dimes to rub together, and I did make do, I saw the world in those days gigi, and I've told my daughter about these travels. She and I have traveled to some of the places I haunted when I was young. The one place she and I will travel to is Morocco one of these days, Start in Casablanca loop around and end up in Marrakesh.

She's going to travel Australia with her father. It's not that she shouldn't engage in what her friends are interested in, and unlike me, she can make who ever she's talking to or listening to, feel like they are the only person in the world, she inherits that from her father.

The truth is, she could be anything she wishes to be, but she chooses to be enamored of science, particularly marine life, particularly sharks, I shudder when I think of this.

And as long as she understands as an individual, this is okay, but its not okay for her to try and "shame others" in thinking like she does.

She'll do okay,,,,

She must "charm" others into thinking like she does.

She wanted to do clinical research, but she came home this summer, and told me she was switching her major to conservation.

She said she was doing this for me, and her grandmother, who also was a grand lover of the sea.


Regards
Pace

 

[gigi]

You know? I don't think I was every more happy, than when I was a student, working during the day, eating cheese and tomato sandwiches every night for dinner. Peanut butter out of the jar on a butter knife was my favorite sin.

I had about two dimes to rub together, and I did make do, I saw the world in those days gigi, and I've told my daughter about these travels. She and I have traveled to some of the places I haunted when I was young. The one place she and I will travel to is Morocco one of these days, Start in Casablanca loop around and end up in Marrakesh.

She's going to travel Australia with her father. It's not that she shouldn't engage in what her friends are interested in, and unlike me, she can make who ever she's talking to or listening to, feel like they are the only person in the world, she inherits that from her father.

The truth is, she could be anything she wishes to be, but she chooses to be enamored of science, particularly marine life, particularly sharks, I shudder when I think of this.

And as long as she understands as an individual, this is okay, but its not okay for her to try and "shame others" in thinking like she does.

She'll do okay,,,,

She must "charm" others into thinking like she does.

She wanted to do clinical research, but she came home this summer, and told me she was switching her major to conservation.

She said she was doing this for me, and her grandmother, who also was a grand lover of the sea.


Regards
Pace

I think she'll do more than okay!!

When you head out for Morocco, swing by and pick up my 14 year old. He's dying to go there. He has the wanderlust. He wants to live everyplace, see the world, inhale all the different cultures. He's a real global citizen. (hates America though!!) But Morocco is going to be his first stop I know. He talks about it nonstop.
It is true, though. You have to encourage them to follow their passion. I won't say all people, and maybe not even most people, but I know some people have that one "thing" that turns them on and satisfies them like nothing else: The sea, world cultures, cooking, the theatre, whatever..But it's that thing that flips a switch and lights them up. When that's the case, they have to immerse themselves in it or something will always be missing.

 

[connieb]

So what do you do if someone at work threatens you or makes such a distraction of himself or herself that your work suffers and your nerves become shot?

I used to have a supervisor that used to make all kinds of cracks about my ethnicity. I needed that paycheck. I couldn't just up and leave. There was no rainy day fund. I did eventually get out of there, but while I was looking for another job, the laws I had on my side brought me relief from her nonsense. And.....some real pleasure in seeing her get her ass handed to her for her nastiness.

I don't think the rules for office place harassment should be different than the rules away from work. What do you do - you do what you did - try to find another job. You suck it up and tough it out. There shouldn't be any special rule your boss needs to be nice to you or even treat you with respect. They should of course - because that is the decent human thing to do. But, if you run across one, that is life.

 

[Renee]

Accepting one's own talents with grace and courage is what it is all about Renee, with regards to my own experience, my daughter was a bookworm from a young age, and I think parents have the obligation to be very observant of their children's behaviours and potential. I remember my daughter who loved to pull all of her books out of the bookcase in her room when she was two, being exceptionally quiet one day, I peeked into to her room, expecting to see her sitting on top of her books, like I still do, just glancing from one book to another. Instead she was sitting by her window, in little plastic chair, watching a grasshopper that was perched on the screen, she was fascinated. I didn't interrupt. For two hours, she stayed focus on this grasshopper.

Both her father and I are in the field of science, we both understand this kind of concentration. I knew at that moment she was bound to something of a scientific nature, in the natural world.

Today, she is seeking her BS in Marine Biology, she's done research in Central America, taught at UConn's marine center in Groton Connecticut. She's now raising lemon sharks in her lab at school, studying the fluid dynamics associated with the surface roughness of their skin.

She will be traveling to Italy this summer and the next, to study a particular kind of marine reptile that has been adapting in Kansas to a different environment, in prep for this she is now studying these displaced reptiles in another lab at school. She has photographed amazing sea life, written about them, and has decided her higher degree will be in the field of conservation.

Now, for the record her parent didn't do so badly in the world of science, but we took a different tack. My only wish for my daughter is to be healthy and happy, she does not have to make "squadds of money", I told her, a backpack, a cheese sandwich, a good book, and a sturdy pair of boots is all you need.

I did that when I was young, and saw Europe and parts of the Middle East.

She sees the benefit in this, she can choose to be a housewife with a huge mcmansion and two SUVS in the driveway, as long as she is happy.

But I can tell you this, studying amazing things in the natural world have made this young woman happier than anything else in her life.

And to think my own mother would admonish me when I took her in the shower at the age of three months just so she would get used to water on her face!

I have a mermaid in my life.

Regards
Pace

Wow...your daughter Sounds like an amazing woman. And she also sounds a lot like my daughter. My daughter went to University of Michigan to study marine biology as well, but she wanted to study underwater marine life. P my husband and I are scuba divers also. Unfortunately she had to have her tonsils taken out as a child and the scar tissue was making diving more and more painful. She even had surgery for it but it really didn't change it that much. Like your daughter she traveled, and swam with sharks in the Grand Caymans. (I could have lived without knowing that LOL) she ended up switching majors and majored in English Lit . She wouldn't become a teacher because people used to actually say to her, "you are so bright, why would you be a teacher?" but I knew she had the gift. She finally found her niche....she is a counselor and loves it
I would love to hear more about her travels....sounds so fascinating and it's great she has all the opportunities.
Our girls are lucky, as you say she could have a career or be a homemaker....wish our sons were encouraged to have those options.

 

[Renee]

I don't think the rules for office place harassment should be different than the rules away from work. What do you do - you do what you did - try to find another job. You suck it up and tough it out. There shouldn't be any special rule your boss needs to be nice to you or even treat you with respect. They should of course - because that is the decent human thing to do. But, if you run across one, that is life.

the workplace is about power. I agre, Your boss doesn't have to be nice to you anymore than he has to be nice to a man, but he should treat a woman the same way he treats a man,....no back rubbing and sexist remarks.

 

[gigi]

I don't think the rules for office place harassment should be different than the rules away from work. What do you do - you do what you did - try to find another job. You suck it up and tough it out. There shouldn't be any special rule your boss needs to be nice to you or even treat you with respect. They should of course - because that is the decent human thing to do. But, if you run across one, that is life.

Oh, I did suck it up, connie. I sucked it up, I recorded her, and I went to her boss, with the tape.

There's a huge difference between simply not being nice to someone and harassing and tormenting, someone relentlessly. We have these laws because people were abused by superiors,much worse than I was. Also, it's not always so smooth. Just get up and go find another job. I was lucky. But alot of these things used to end badly for the employee. They would be fired for fighting back or for not playing ball with a horny boss, or be forced to quit before they had another job because they just couldnt' take it anymore. And they had no guarantee that the next boss would be any better.
When someone has to change jobs, there's upheaval in their routine, and in their family's routine if they have one.Perhaps their finances, too. Well, sometimes people have to change jobs. But because of some bigoted ass who abuses his or her power? I don't think so. Better the jerk is forced to move on.

 

[connieb]

Oh, I did suck it up, connie. I sucked it up, I recorded her, and I went to her boss, with the tape.

There's a huge difference between simply not being nice to someone and harassing and tormenting, someone relentlessly. We have these laws because people were abused by superiors,much worse than I was. Also, it's not always so smooth. Just get up and go find another job. I was lucky. But alot of these things used to end badly for the employee. They would be fired for fighting back or for not playing ball with a horny boss, or be forced to quit before they had another job because they just couldnt' take it anymore. And they had no guarantee that the next boss would be any better.
When someone has to change jobs, there's upheaval in their routine, and in their family's routine if they have one.Perhaps their finances, too. Well, sometimes people have to change jobs. But because of some bigoted ass who abuses his or her power? I don't think so. Better the jerk is forced to move on.

Gigi,

One persons harassment and torment is another's fair criticisms or mild disdain. Like I said - I support harrassment laws to the extent that they are already enforceable outside the work world. But, I think all employment should be "at will" so if your employer simply doesn't like you - they can fire you. So, there is no reason to extend or expand the existing harassment rules to the workplace. If it wouldn't be harrassment in another environment - its not harrassment in the workplace. Yes, it could be upheaval and stress. We don't have a guarantee of a stress free life. And, I will never suppor litigation which is just designed to make a persons life easier or better. That is for the individual to work out.

connie

 

[Hummingbirdlvr3]

I don't think the rules for office place harassment should be different than the rules away from work. What do you do - you do what you did - try to find another job. You suck it up and tough it out. There shouldn't be any special rule your boss needs to be nice to you or even treat you with respect. They should of course - because that is the decent human thing to do. But, if you run across one, that is life.

I don't think the rules for office place harassment should be different than the rules away from work. What do you do - you do what you did - try to find another job. You suck it up and tough it out. There shouldn't be any special rule your boss needs to be nice to you or even treat you with respect. They should of course - because that is the decent human thing to do. But, if you run across one, that is life.

I don't agree that the victim of harassment in the workplace ( or anywhere else) needs to be the one to suck it up, and find another job ( school or whatever the situation) in order to work/'just be' in an non hostile atmosphere. There's a stark difference between harassment, and people not "treating you nicely", or with "mild" disdain. Harassment is specific actions/ forms of attacks which are either verbal - threats, or physical. Across the board - school, work environment, in a public place such as a Mall - there should be zero tolerance . Legislation in place in order to ensure protection from ; specific to each form, AND place it's encountered.
tr.v. ha·rassed, ha·rass·ing, ha·rass·es
1. To irritate or torment persistently.
2. To wear out; exhaust.
3. To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.

 

[connieb]

I don't agree that the victim of harassment in the workplace ( or anywhere else) needs to be the one to suck it up, and find another job ( school or whatever the situation) in order to work/'just be' in an non hostile atmosphere. There's a stark difference between harassment, and people not "treating you nicely", or with "mild" disdain. Harassment is specific actions/ forms of attacks which are either verbal - threats, or physical. Across the board - school, work environment, in a public place such as a Mall - there should be zero tolerance . Legislation in place in order to ensure protection from ; specific to each form, AND place it's encountered.
tr.v. ha·rassed, ha·rass·ing, ha·rass·es
1. To irritate or torment persistently.
2. To wear out; exhaust.
3. To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.

There are certain rules already governing harassment. What I am saying is that I do not want a different standard or level of culpability in the workplace. If your neighbor starts harassing you - there are legal means to address those and a standard of behavior in the legal real which needs to be met. There should be no difference in the standard on what constitutes harassment in the workplace. And, in my opinion the legislation surrounding workplace harassment - is much more broadly interpreted.